Yes, you’re sleeping in my apartment,” I said. “On my sofa. It was an exciting night, but not that exciting. I’d really hope you’d remember if it had been.

If you’d rather I didn’t stay—” I began.
“I invited you.”
“After sustaining a head injury. Which means you aren’t responsible for anything you said last night . . . except for the part where you forgave me for wrecking your car.”
“You were run off the road.”
“I still feel bad. It was a nice car.” I paused. “I’m also sorry about almost getting you killed.”
“She says, as an afterthought.”
“It was a really nice car.

I'd seriously contemplated a real collar - a sparkly green one - if only because I was sure it would offend his dignity.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

A bachelor, a studio, those were the names for that kind of apartment. Separate entrance it would say in the ads, and that meant you could have sex, unobserved.

Have you ever tried to organise a threesome in real life?'

I shook my head. I'd only encountered them in porn, but it seemed to happen without much admin, the same way all porn skipped out the granular details of sex, like condoms and kissing, that were supposed to happen in real life.