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Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?


Elayne Boosler

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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot
ELAYNE BOOSLER You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
P. J. O'ROURKE this sounds a little simple, but I think if we didnt know illness we wouldnt really feel the exhilir...
PRISCILLA WARNER We are able to select great preaching from great preachers. We can control the quality of the sermon...
TIM COLE The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly faili...
DANIEL TOSH Get money; by just means. if you can; if not, still get money.
UNKNOWN There was only so much television you could do.
JACKIE COOPER “When you have too much of something, the only content you can get from it is by giving”
SHAHAF YEFET Television preachers extract money from the poor to live in a style and to indulge in shameful acts ...
J. IRWIN MILLER I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
ELAYNE BOOSLER God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she migh...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, yo...
ELAYNE BOOSLER To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Horse racing is waning in popularity.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
ELAYNE BOOSLER You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
ELAYNE BOOSLER I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
ELAYNE BOOSLER I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men wou...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in n...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
ELAYNE BOOSLER My breakup with AT&T is final, and I'm done with Skype as the rebound guy.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.
ELAYNE BOOSLER The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was b...
ELAYNE BOOSLER We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.
ELAYNE BOOSLER My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
ELAYNE BOOSLER When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole diff...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound...
ELAYNE BOOSLER It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Wouldn't it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, 'Nobody was ha...
ELAYNE BOOSLER We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyo...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually b...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
ELAYNE BOOSLER When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole differen...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men wou...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
ELAYNE BOOSLER One man's wilderness is another man's theme park
ELAYNE BOOSLER While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they d...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a muse...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I ha...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is th...
ELAYNE BOOSLER People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in wa...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with m...
ELAYNE BOOSLER We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can f...
ELAYNE BOOSLER The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
ELAYNE BOOSLER A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as so...
ELAYNE BOOSLER If I could only get people to rub my belly for good lucky and then throw money in my fountain, it...
CHRISTOPHER MELONI Only a monopolist could study a business and ruin it by giving away products.
SCOTT MCNEALY I purposely don't talk about money, because people are already skeptical about TV preachers. But...
JOEL OSTEEN Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.
BRIAN TRACY If there is no Hell a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.
WILLIAM A. SUNDAY If there is no hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.
WILLIAM A. SUNDAY If there is no hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.
BILLY SUNDAY If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by...
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by ...
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by ...
FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY You can only get what is yours by giving the other person what is his.
WALLACE D. WATTLES You cannot spend money in luxury without doing good to the poor. Nay, you do more good to them by sp...
SAMUEL JOHNSON Our aids are very committed to serving their customers. Money may be a concern but they continue to ...
DORIS MARSHALL It could be said that the AIDS pandemic is a classic own-goal scored by the human race against itsel...
PRINCESS ANNE IRELAND AIDS makes the system of global apartheid clear. We should be spending money on AIDS, not on war.
SALIH BOOKER How does it make sense to say that you're protecting capital of $10,000 by giving $500 to a salesman...
BRIAN PORTNOY This cost the foundation a substantial amount of money that it could not afford, ... It put a substa...
CHARLES THOMPSON Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN If we could get people doing this sort of thing when they're about to have chemo, we could raise a l...
SANDI TARR Perhaps the crime situation would be improved if we could get more cops off television and onto the ...
WILLIAM E. VAUGHAN Who you are is not determined by what you wear, the money in your wallet, nor how you look. Who you ...
MARY KATE How to get it, I annoy you???
You are not interested???

What's the idea???
DEYTH BANGER But the Republican right-wing agenda, these people - Arnold and his patrons - felt it could be accom...
WARREN BEATTY It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could neve...
HAVELOCK ELLIS It is a great experience in a good environment, you get to see and be seen by people of power in the...
ALEXANDRA RODRIGUEZ If your ratings are high and there's money being made, you're allowed to be a perfectionist ...
DAN HARMON How to be Great;The moment you realize & accept the ordinary fact that those doing great things toda...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) How to be great;Think of a gigantic & unheard of idea to birth & nurture & inside it lies your great...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Yeah, I just want to enjoy it. You know they aren't giving the money to charity. That's why they get...
CARL JOHNSON There's no way to get the school to do it. If that could happen, that would be great.
JACKIE SMITH The great thing about vinyl is that if you wanted to get a decent-sounding cut, you could really onl...
KATE BUSH They only learned it when it ran on television. Then they said to me, you can get prisoners released...
JUERGEN CHROBOG If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
KATHARINE HEPBURN If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
GEORGE GOBAL If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
GEORGE GOBEL Democracy, if it meant what our forefathers said, that would be great, but unfortunately it's be...
GEORGE HAMILTON I do not have bad days. I don't wake up in the morning and think that I'm going to get AIDS....
MAGIC JOHNSON If you donate to the mainland, it's not as simple as giving money. You need a lot of psychologic...
RONNIE CHAN With Martha Stewart, the power of the brand, the power of television, taught me that if you can marr...
CHARLES KOPPELMAN

More Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
ELAYNE BOOSLER God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she migh...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, yo...
ELAYNE BOOSLER To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Horse racing is waning in popularity.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
ELAYNE BOOSLER You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
ELAYNE BOOSLER I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
ELAYNE BOOSLER I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men wou...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in n...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
ELAYNE BOOSLER My breakup with AT&T is final, and I'm done with Skype as the rebound guy.
ELAYNE BOOSLER Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.
ELAYNE BOOSLER The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was b...
ELAYNE BOOSLER We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.
ELAYNE BOOSLER My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
ELAYNE BOOSLER When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole diff...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound...
ELAYNE BOOSLER It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Wouldn't it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, 'Nobody was ha...
ELAYNE BOOSLER We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyo...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually b...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
ELAYNE BOOSLER When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole differen...
ELAYNE BOOSLER My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men wou...
ELAYNE BOOSLER When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
ELAYNE BOOSLER One man's wilderness is another man's theme park
ELAYNE BOOSLER While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they d...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a muse...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I ha...
ELAYNE BOOSLER Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is th...
ELAYNE BOOSLER People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in wa...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with m...
ELAYNE BOOSLER You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot
ELAYNE BOOSLER We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can f...
ELAYNE BOOSLER The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
ELAYNE BOOSLER A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how ...
ELAYNE BOOSLER I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as so...
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