Woman! The peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch, and the sinner his justification!

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.