Why is the hearse with scutcheons blazon'd round, And with the nodding plume of ostrich crown'd? No; the dead know it not, nor profit gain; It only serves to prove the living vain.

There was a man bespake a think, Which when the owner home did bring, He that made it did refuse it: And he that brought it would not use it, And he that hath it doth now know Whether he hath it yea or no.

Diaulus, lately a doctor, is now an undertaker' what he does as an undertaker, he used to do also as a doctor.

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.

Let us endeavor to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.