FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Diaulus, lately a doctor, is now an undertaker' what he does as an undertaker, he used to do also as a doctor.

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.

Let us endeavor to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

The houses he makes last till doomsday.

There's a grim one-horse hearse in a jolly round trot; To the churchyear a pauper is going I wot; The road it is rough, and the hearse has no springs, And hark to the dirge that the sad driver sings-- Rattle his bones over the stones, He's only a pauper whom nobody owns.