FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Ambrose Bierce
Related A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief. SWEDISH PROVERB I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES We will strengthen our security by building missile defense, restoring our military might, and stand... MITT ROMNEY Everything passes by, and we are left with just our memories BEN OAK We saw a lot of happy tears shed by our volunteers. And we saw a lot of happy tears shed by our clie... LARRY ROCKWELL Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary d... DENIS WAITLEY We will be able to decrease the number of cartons we process in our distribution centers, reduce our... FLOYD HALL By expanding our patent portfolio, we believe we can further strengthen our proprietary position in ... CARL RANNO Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief. JOSEPH ADDISON Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our ... MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO The hyping of disabled athletes into superhuman status by Channel 4 only deepens our wounds, inflict... PENNY PEPPER Our only goal is to strengthen the opposition and to avoid the dilemma whereby we only have the choi... FRANCOIS HOLLANDE REFLECTION, n. An action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things ... AMBROSE BIERCE Stop a minute, Ambrose!" interrupted Master Nathaniel. "I've got a sudden silly whim that we should ... HOPE MIRRLEES The nature of our team is that we depend on our doubles a lot. We have a balanced team. For us to be... JEFF HOLMAN We must not permit our respect for the dead or our sympathy for the living to lead us into an act of... DAVY CROCKETT Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the... SAMUEL RICHARDSON There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY We have been investing in building a mobile-first selling capability by establishing the Consumer Ch... B. KEVIN TURNER We are honored to be recognized for our financial performance, highest standards of corporate govern... LAKSHMI NARAYANAN Ethanol reduces our dependence on foreign sources of oil and is an important weapon in the War on Te... JOHN THUNE And because we sell through intermediaries, an IPO helps us strengthen our relationship with the peo... CHRIS DONAHUE Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clea... ALEX TAN Often we wonder in our grief what is gained by our belief? Although night, and morning we pray, stil... EDGAR A. GUEST Our profits are growing. We may borrow a little for expenditure. AKHIL GUPTA Ethanol reduces our dependence on foreign sources of oil and is an important weapon in the War on Te... JOHN THUNE We didn't actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure. KEITH DAVIS We have a staggering debt level, and government must ensure our expenditure levels are kept within o... LOYOLA SULLIVAN We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers. CARL SAGAN Our best option (to win) was in doubles. Traditionally, our strength is our depth. We can usually ha... JEFF CARROW We can't manipulate people into swallowing our boundaries by sugarcoating them. Boundaries are a "li... HENRY CLOUD Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can ... MALCOLM GLADWELL Although the 10% A Notes were eligible for conversion into common stock up through August of this ye... DOYAL BRYANT There at the cross, we see all pain and darkness conquered in such a way that it is defeated forever... JOCELYN SORIANO We have been expropriated from our own language by television, from our songs by reality TV contests... THE INVISIBLE COMMITTEE If we long for our planet to be important, there is something we can do about it. We make our world ... CARL SAGAN Truth adds strength to our mind, courage to our heart, happiness to our soul and empowerment, motiva... ANUJ SOMANY By working together with our customers and members we can strengthen international networks, reducin... MICHAEL VALLONE We didn't actually overspend our budget. The health Commission allocation simply fell short of our ... KEITH DAVIS We didn't actually overspend our budget. The health Commission allocation simply fell short of our e... FRANK A. CLARK Coors is honored to receive this recognition from HRC Foundation. We will continue to strengthen our... FRITS VAN PAASSCHEN We are deeply saddened by his death. We send our condolences to the Mzimela family. He will be given... ALEX WRIGHT We live by our imagination, our admirations, and our sentiments. RALPH WALDO EMERSON It is this admirable, this immortal, instinctive sense of beauty that leads us to look upon the spec... CHARLES BAUDELAIRE Nobody ever outgrows Scripture; the book widens and deepens with our years. CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON Nobody ever outgrows scripture; the Book widens and deepens with our years CHARLES H. SPURGEON The problem for all women is we're identified by how we look instead of by our heads and our hea... GLORIA STEINEM Until we end our violence against the earth- a matter ignored by most pacifists, as the issue of mil... WENDELL BERRY We are proceeding to increase our investments to capitalize on our expanded opportunity for the comb... BRUCE BARRETT Truth adds the strength to our mind, the courage to our heart, the happiness to our soul and empower... ANUJ SOMANY I believe that our audience can, through our reports - on radio and the Web - get a very detailed se... BILL MARIMOW Our order book continues to strengthen and our research continues to uncover new ways to expand our ... DAVE PRATT Our interests are indeed common European interests, and the only way to serve them is by common mean... FEDERICA MOGHERINI We live by our imagination, our admiration s, and our sentiments. RALPH WALDO EMERSON A lot of times, they look at our singles and make a mistake by overlooking what we have at the doubl... JEFF WARSTLER If our hearts are ready for anything, we are touched by the beauty and poetry and mystery that fill ... TARA BRACH We shall listen, not lecture; learn, not threaten. We will enhance our safety by earning the respect... THEODORE C. SORENSEN For the moment, we would like to strengthen our co-operation with local companies to provide better ... BRIAN O'HARA We may thank God that we can feel pain and know sadness, for these are the human sentiments that con... EUGENE KENNEDY Fortunately, when Korea was struck by the 1997/8 financial crisis, that was a good opportunity for u... LEE MYUNG-BAK Often we wonder in our grief what is gained by our belief? Although night, and morning we pray, stil... EDGAR A. GUEST Conservatism has had from its inception vigorously positive, intellectually rigorous agenda and thin... MITT ROMNEY As a result of our strong cash flow and continued efforts to strengthen our balance sheet we improve... DAVID HARGREAVES Our goals are to achieve victory for our Democratic candidates and we do that by banding together. IRENE STEIN We cannot lower our guard or relax our vigilance, ... We must fully strengthen the building of our d... HUI LIANGYU Whatever requires an undue amount of thought or trouble or involves a large expenditure of effort an... SAINT BASIL We view this report as a wake-up call for everyone who uses our roadways to get involved by contacti... LAURIE GHESQUIERE We women often gauge our own self-worth by the quality of our interactions with our lovers. And ofte... CARRIE PRESTON We are united by our common fears and divided by our individual freedom! RAMANA PEMMARAJU We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW we make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers CARL SAGAN Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards - the things we live by and teach our children - are... WALT DISNEY Jordan and Jim White (16-10 at second doubles in 2005) are going to be playing first doubles for us.... BOB KUMMER Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wh... GAUTAMA BUDDHA Putting together a sustainable budget requires that we all work together, that we focus our scarce r... ROY BLUNT The declaration that our People are hostile to a government made
by themselves, for themselves, and... JOHN QUINCY ADAMS It is our ultimate goal to hold UCI accountable for the clear harm and grief that it has caused our ... MARK QUIGLEY If we deny the grief its right in our lives, then we must question the love for which the grief is s... W. SCOTT LINEBERRY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT We emerged to find an alien landscape. We bound our wounds, we buried our dead, and we commenced to ... GARY MICHIELS He called out to his fellow monks,'Come quickly I am tasting stars. JOHN GREEN O, brothers! let us leave the shame and sin
Of taking vainly in a plaintive mood,
The holy na... ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING If not for the chief coming by, at least one of our stallions would be dead, JOHN FULLER We still have a tender place in our heart, for Mexico and the flag, our culture and our language, bu... HECTOR FLORES The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. CLARENCE DARROW The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. CLARENCE DARROW The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children CLARENCE DARROW The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. CLARENCE DARROW The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the last half by our children. CLARENCE DARROW The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. CLARENCE DARROW The Grateful Dead were an influence on our music but they weren't by a long shot the biggest inf... JON FISHMAN I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II By preserving these neighborhoods, we are creating a draw for tourists and that translates into an e... BEN BURROUGHS We have had an awesome year in doubles and are hoping we don't drop the point this whole season. If ... CATRINA THOMPSON We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride and four times as much ... BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Our technology continues to gain credibility with our military, as indicated by this new relationshi... DR. AMIT KUMAR This evolution will allow Intel to be better recognized for our contributions, establish a stronger ... ERIC KIM As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity th... STEPHEN COVEY
More Ambrose Bierce
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A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... 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A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE