Why does it take two days for a polaroid of John Major to appear?

Like all the good comics, he was a perfectionist - he wouldn't settle for anything less.

If you watch him in Porridge and Open All Hours you can't believe it's the same person.

It was like an Agatha Christie thriller, trying to work out who this man was.

Everything's a competition, no matter what we do. We could go outside and walk and see who walks the fastest. I don't like losing, and he don't like losing.

It was devastating watching on TV and not being able to do anything. A lot was going on in my mind at the time. It had me really shaken up. I didn't know where half of my family was some days. I was scared that I was going to lose someone really important to me.