When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

The most he can live, the most, even if he has an operation, the doctor told me, would be a year,

The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"

Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!