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What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.


Mark Twain

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What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your sk...
MARK TWAIN There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist -- the taxidermist leaves the hide...
MORTIMER CAPLAN There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide.
MORTIMER CAPLIN The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
MARK TWAIN Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
CAMILLE PAGLIA Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist
CAMILLE PAGLIA Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist
CAMILLE PAGLIA And there’s others like taxidermist! You can’t just go, “Oh, I was just working at the chip sh...
EDDIE IZZARD Word has it . . . the stone is from Japan, it's very ancient, it belonged to a shogun in the elevent...
ANTHONY DOERR Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you...
C. JOYBELL C. I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES I'm looking at a dead event and trying to give it new life. In a sense, I'm a taxidermist.
YANN MARTEL Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist!“I’ve done your dog. It’s got nine eyes down the si...
EDDIE IZZARD The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception...
SAM HARRIS The only difference between me and those other great Yankees is my skin color.
REGGIE JACKSON I was just different. When the other kids gravitated to football or basketball, I went fishing and s...
GENE PITNEY The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN There is a canyon of difference between doing your best to glorify God and doing whatever it takes t...
MAX L. LUCADO The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.
DENIS HEALEY The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.
DENIS HEALEY His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING ...if anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is impo...
WILLIAM PAUL YOUNG Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different.
JOHNNIE DENT JR. The only civilized country is one in which no man is afraid of the tax collector
JUAN DE MAIRENA Mother Superior jump the gun...
-The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun
LAUREN MYRACLE The only difference between a Good Day And a Bad Day Is your ATTITUDE!
DENNIS BROWN It takes two for a kiss Only one for a sigh, Twain by twain we marry One by one we die.
FREDERIC LAWRENCE KNOWLES Mark Twain.
FRIENDS Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER Status quos are made to be broken.
RAY A. DAVIS Most viewers probably have no idea what the difference is between the two awards. It takes a very di...
ABBY WHITE Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
A.A. MILNE We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”
...
A.A. MILNE If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS We begin to fight. The wind and I. Horns locked. Battling each other with elements.
LAURA DOCKRILL Between skin and skin, there is only light.
JOHN FOWLES For me, there's a big difference between having a baby in your 20s and having a baby in your 40s...
JANE KACZMAREK All a guy needed was a chance. Somebody was alway controlling who got a chance and who didn't.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.
MARK TWAIN To paraphrase Mark Twain, our demise is greatly exaggerated.
CHRIS DONLAY What makes the difference between a gang and a state is the belief that there is a difference betwee...
JAKUB BOżYDAR WIśNIEWSKI I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER Huge difference between being happy at will, and chasing euphoric moments as an escape. One doesn't ...
T.F. HODGE I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
MARY OLIVER It's the curiosity that drives me. It's making a difference in the world that prevents me from ever ...
DEBORAH MEIER Understand and be confident that each of us can make a difference by caring and acting in small as w...
MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN You don’t have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world. Bu...
JOHN PIPER I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because...
EDWARD EVERETT HALE If you think you are too small to make a difference, you have obviously never been in bed with a mos...
PETER STROPLE Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all ...
R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER Make a difference always and in all ways!
PETER STROPLE Oh, it makes a difference, I thought. And if it doesn't make a difference you will make it make a di...
CHAIM POTOK I believe in work. If somebody doesn't create something, however small it may be, he gets sick. An a...
ARTHUR MILLER Go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good.
MINOR MYERS The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.
AL NEUHARTH The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
ELLEN GLASGOW The only difference between a weed and a flower is survival skill.
HENRY BUELL Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN There is a difference between how you live your life, and what you do with your life.
ABHIJIT NASKAR I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li...
DICK VAN DYKE The only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet.
STEVE CHANDLER THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREAM AND IMAGINATION IS THAT "U DREAM WHAT YOU IMAGINE
MARKHANDEYA When you are called for a great duty because you have been given a great ability, do your very best ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH There's a difference between disclosing that which is only your business and hiding away from the wo...
RASHEED OGUNLARU The only difference between a rut and a grave... is in their dimensions.
ELLEN GLASGLOW Mark Twain said, 'The right word is to the nearly right word as lightning is to the lightning bu...
ROBERT LITTELL Love is a growing, or full constant light,
And his first minute, after noon, is night.
JOHN DONNE You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES The only difference between you and your competitors is the level of customer service satisfaction y...
JEFFREY BENJAMIN You don't have to be a billionaire to believe you can make a difference. Give your resources to a ch...
GERMANY KENT The difference between the mile and the marathon is the difference between burning your fingers with...
HAL HIGDON Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is fo...
MARK TWAIN It's pre-tax dollars, so if you put away $100 it's only a $60 difference in your paycheck.
PAT JENNERJOHN Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
DICK VAN DYKE The tax collector must love poor people. He is creating so many of them.
BILL VAUGHAN Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play.
J.R. RIM The only difference between a problem and a solution is that people understand the solution.
DOROTHEA BRANDE The only difference between a problem and a solution is that people understand the solution.
CHARLES KETTERING The only difference between a problem and a solution is that people understand the solution.
CHARLES F. KETTERING The only difference between May and Day is the M and D! Be a good Managing Director of your life eac...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH [March 25 -] Songs and Stories for Everybody ... the Mark Twain of contemporary kids' music.
BILL HARLEY We have a distinct difference between what happens downtown and in the outside districts. There is a...
BOBBY LIEB What's the difference between rain and grain? Only a g, though they both grow in the land, and they ...
ANA CLAUDIA ANTUNES I choose bold. I choose action. I choose what's right for the people. I choose to make a differe...
BILL RICHARDSON The difference between love and hate is the difference between a choice!
SASHA AZEVEDO The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.
ELLEN GLASGOW The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions
ELLEN GLASGOW The only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The only difference between a comedy and a tragedy is at which point the story ends.
CORRINE PLIETH Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
MARK TWAIN Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
MARK TWAIN The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, ...
MARK TWAIN The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a c...
CARLOS CASTANEDA “The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as ...
CARLOS CASTANEDA

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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
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MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
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MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
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MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one.
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MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated.
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MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
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MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
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MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
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MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
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MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
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MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
MARK TWAIN