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Monty Python

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
THE DOORS 'Monty Python' and 'The Simpsons' have ruined comedy for writers for the rest of our...
SCOTT ADSIT Romanes eunt domus
LIFE OF BRIAN Always look on the bright side of life. (Monty Python)
MICHAEL PALIN At the end of Season Four of 'Mr. Show,' instead of doing another season, everyone just thou...
SCOTT AUKERMAN I have a weird sense of humour. My dad's the same. We love watching 'Monty Python' toget...
MIRANDA KERR Comedy. It was just huge in my house. Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all those Ja...
MIKE MYERS 'Monty Python' is now more recognised by the films than by the TV series.
MARK GATISS The whole idea of creating saints, it's pure 'Monty Python.' They have to clock up two m...
RICHARD DAWKINS When the quarterback gets sacked, the novice, the average fan, thinks it's the offensive line's faul...
JIM MCNALLY You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it lik...
ROBIN WILLIAMS Most 'Monty Python' fans are, of course, baby boomers, who have long been a nostalgic lot an...
TERRY TEACHOUT No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.
ERIC IDLE He called out to his fellow monks,'Come quickly I am tasting stars.
JOHN GREEN What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is s...
JOHN GREEN Pero diré esto: Cuando los científicos del futuro aparezcan en mi casa con ojos robot y me digan q...
JOHN GREEN Wow,” I said. “Are you making this up?”
“Hazel Grace, could I, with my meager intellect...
JOHN GREEN Finally, I decided that the proper strategy was to stare back. Boys do not have a monopoly on the St...
JOHN GREEN We were sitting there on the couch together, and he pushed himself up to go but then fell back down ...
JOHN GREEN So it’s your death suit.”
“Correct. Don’t you have a death outfit?”
“Yeah,”...
JOHN GREEN I spent your Wish on that doucheface,” I said into his chest.
“Hazel Grace. No. I will gran...
JOHN GREEN «Hazel Grace,” he said, my name new and better in his voice. “It has been a real pleasure to ma...
JOHN GREEN Cold,” he said, pressing a finger to my pale wrist.
“Not cold so much as underoxygenated,�...
JOHN GREEN If he is anything other than a total gentleman, I’m going to gouge his eyes out.”
“So you...
JOHN GREEN People always get used to beauty, though.”
“I haven’t gotten used to you just yet,” he ...
JOHN GREEN Augustus: “You probably need some rest.”
Me: “I’m okay.”
Augustus: “Okay.” (...
JOHN GREEN Time's a slut, she screws with everyone.
JOHN GREEN como toda pregunta sobre el universo, esta vía de investigación nos obliga inevitablemente a pregu...
J.K. ROWLING No puedes escoger si serás lastimado en este mundo, pero si puedes decidir quién te lastima
JOHN GREEN But it's your life.
JOHN GREEN No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can't go all the way round.
JOHN GREEN Cancer kids are essentially side effects of the relentless mutation that made the diversity of life ...
JOHN GREEN No puedes elegir si van hacerte daño en este mundo, pero sí eliges quién te lo hace.
JOHN GREEN you clench your teeth,you look up, you tell yourself that if they see you cry, it will hurt them,and...
JOHN GREEN That's the think about pain. It demands to be felt.
JOHN GREEN Seriously, don't even get me started on my hot bod. You don't want to see me naked, Dave. seeing me ...
JOHN GREEN Writing does not resurrect. It buries..
JOHN GREEN Pero diré esto: Cuando los científicos del futuro aparezcan en mi casa con ojos robot y me digan q...
JOHN GREEN You’re arguing that the fragile, rare thing is beautiful simply because it is fragile and rare. Bu...
JOHN GREEN So how’s it going?”
“Okay. Glad to be home, I guess. Gus told me you were in the ICU?”<...
JOHN GREEN Still perfect,” he said. “Read to me.”
“This isn’t really a poem to read aloud when y...
JOHN GREEN I love Monty Python, Black Adder, Fawlty Towers. I'm a huge fan of British comedy.
ISLA FISHER I'd grown up loving English films. I was a huge Monty Python fanatic as a kid.
ALESSANDRO NIVOLA My mother is British; she's from Shrewsbury. She turned me onto 'Monty Python' very earl...
JASON BATEMAN My dad is into movies, and they let me watch movies. I was obsessed with Monty Python when I was in ...
CHARLIE TAHAN No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not...
ERIC IDLE I prefer the finesse of French humour. English humour is more scathing, more cruel, as illustrated b...
HELEN MIRREN I love the English. My God, they brought us 'Benny Hill,' 'Monty Python,' 'The O...
SETH MACFARLANE First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, ...
MONTY PYTHON It was probably the most I've ever been sacked, and some of them were my fault. It was a total team ...
JEFF BALLARD I was a bit of a Victorian Lady, fainting-wise.
JOHN GREEN While I did not fancy myself a particularly good person, I never thought my first real sexual action...
JOHN GREEN Mom sobbed something into Dad's chest that I wish I hadn't heard, and that I hope she never finds ou...
JOHN GREEN Come over here so I can examine your face with my hands and see deeper into your soul than a sighted...
JOHN GREEN But it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he has Cassiu...
JOHN GREEN But this was the truth, a pitiful boy who desperately wanted not to be pitiful, screaming and crying...
JOHN GREEN I'm feeling grand. I'm on a rollercoaster only going up.
AUGUSTUS WATERS THE FAULT IN OUR STARS I loved Monty Python for the wordplay--this sense that you didn’t have to squash your intelligence...
GEORGE SAUNDERS Monty and I have both put pressure on ourselves to be the best we can be. But those guys are legends...
CHAD BROWN 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail' is a hugely important movie to me. I remember watching it ...
JAMES GUNN I love 'Monty Python,' 'Black Adder,' 'Fawlty Towers.' I'm a huge fan of...
ISLA FISHER I was pretty much a child of 'Monty Python.' I grew up loving that type of humor and even st...
MICHAEL JAI WHITE Is it still cool to go to the mall?' she asked. 'I take quite a lot of pride in not knowing what's c...
JOHN GREEN You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurt...
JOHN GREEN I imagined the Augustus Waters analysis of that comment: If I am playing basketball in heaven, does ...
JOHN GREEN All salvation is temporary," Augustus shot back. "I bought them a minute. Maybe that's the minute th...
JOHN GREEN That's why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates a adjecti...
JOHN GREEN We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
JOHN GREEN It's just that most really good-looking people are stupid, so I exceed expectations.'
'Right, i...
JOHN GREEN It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the ...
JOHN GREEN I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up
JOHN GREEN I want to see you again tonight, but I'm willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow - Augustus W...
JOHN GREEN I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.
"Augustus," I said.

"I am," he said. He ...
JOHN GREEN I fear oblivion. I fear it like the proverbial blind man who's afraid of the dark.
JOHN GREEN I just held her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one second I was a good...
JOHN GREEN Girls think they’re only allowed to wear dresses on formal occasions, but I like a woman who says,...
JOHN GREEN I am in the midst of a soliloquy! I wrote this out and memorized it and if you interrupt me I will c...
JOHN GREEN you gave me a forever within the numbered days and i can't tell you how thankful i am for our little...
JOHN GREEN I’ve stopped thinking about it. I don’t have time to have a girlfriend. I have like a full-time ...
JOHN GREEN My parents were my two best friends. My third best friend was an author who did not know I existed.
JOHN GREEN I pulled the oxygen tubes from my nostrils and raised the tube up over my head, handing it to Dad. I...
JOHN GREEN He took a long drink, then grimaced. “I do not have a drinking problem,” he announced, his voice...
JOHN GREEN Thank you for wearing that dress which is like whoa.
JOHN GREEN I want to minimize the deaths I am responsible for.
JOHN GREEN Also, it was a bit hopeless," he said. "A bit defeatist."
"If by defeatist you mean honest, the...
JOHN GREEN But alas, the world is not a wish-granting factory.
JOHN GREEN ..."You couldn't be more wrong", I said. "You are buying into the cross-stitched sentiments of your ...
JOHN GREEN The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE But I believe in true love, you know? I don’t believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or no...
JOHN GREEN I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably biased toward conscio...
JOHN GREEN Even though I was in bed and he was in his basement, it really felt like we were back in that uncrea...
JOHN GREEN …iubirea mea, nu-ți pot spune cât de recunoscătoare sunt pentru mica noastră infinitate. N-aș...
JOHN GREEN We took up the offer with the BBC, and that was Monty Python's Flying Circus. I didn't have ...
TERRY GILLIAM If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And...
SETH MACFARLANE Never apologise for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologise for the truth.
EDMUND BURKE It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of t...
STEPHEN FRY Some say we are responsible for those we love. Others know we are responsible for those who love us.
NIKKI GIOVANNI It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?
MONTY PYTHON I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
MONTY PYTHON The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end.
MONTY PYTHON

More Monty Python

It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?
MONTY PYTHON I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
MONTY PYTHON The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end.
MONTY PYTHON No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
MONTY PYTHON The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.
MONTY PYTHON 'What? Ridden on a horse?'
'Yes'
'You're using coconuts!'
'What?'
'You've got two em...
MONTY PYTHON He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone ...
MONTY PYTHON What? Ridden on a horse?''Yes''You're using coconuts!''What?''You've got two empty halves of coconut...
MONTY PYTHON Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out ...
MONTY PYTHON Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Oth...
MONTY PYTHON Of course, it’s a bit of a jump, isn’t it? I mean, er… chartered accountancy to lion taming in...
MONTY PYTHON We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-b...
MONTY PYTHON This is a dead parrot!
MONTY PYTHON “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you… your heads addled with novels and poems. You come home...
MONTY PYTHON Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy,
MONTY PYTHON Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!
MONTY PYTHON And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three,...
MONTY PYTHON NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and ...
MONTY PYTHON You don't like her??? She's beautiful and rich... and got huge...... tracks of land!
MONTY PYTHON -She turned me into a newt! -A newt?-I got better...
MONTY PYTHON Well she turned me into a newt!""A newt?""I got better...
MONTY PYTHON Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Rogerthe Shrubber. I arrange, design, and...
MONTY PYTHON Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a t...
MONTY PYTHON Dinsdale, He was a nice boy...... He nailed my head to a coffee table.
MONTY PYTHON Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?
MONTY PYTHON Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
MONTY PYTHON I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general...
MONTY PYTHON I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that a...
MONTY PYTHON Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight fo...
MONTY PYTHON Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!
MONTY PYTHON “Ah, Mr Anchovy! Do sit down.” “Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh? Lovely weather fo...
MONTY PYTHON “It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, ...
MONTY PYTHON “This morning, shortly after 11 o’clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden...
MONTY PYTHON “Hampstead wasn’t good enough for you was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley. You and you...
MONTY PYTHON Vikings? There ain’t no vikings here. Just us honest farmers. The town was burning, the villagers ...
MONTY PYTHON There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not
MONTY PYTHON Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
MONTY PYTHON Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestl...
MONTY PYTHON Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by...
MONTY PYTHON And now for something completely different.
MONTY PYTHON I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!
MONTY PYTHON First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, ...
MONTY PYTHON He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.
MONTY PYTHON Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
MONTY PYTHON Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer u...
MONTY PYTHON He must be a king.Why?He hasn't got shit all over him.
MONTY PYTHON My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white
MONTY PYTHON Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't.
MONTY PYTHON Always look on the bright side of life.
MONTY PYTHON “It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, an...
MONTY PYTHON If you act like you've only got fifteen minutes, it will take all day. Act like you've got all day, ...
MONTY ROBERTS I've had it. I did 4,700 episodes. Isn't that enough?
MONTY HALL When the season winds up there is a big sigh of relief, but it doesn't take much of the three months...
MONTY MORROW As I got more successful, I felt it was more incumbent upon me to help the other people. I did more ...
MONTY HALL The thing that Rodney does best is he sets the tempo for the way things are done around here. He's a...
MONTY BEISEL That was a heck of a run.
MONTY STUMBAUGH It doesn?t get any easier all year in the return game. Once they see that early in the year, they?re...
MONTY BEISEL Last year was the first year for the show at Bradley Square Mall and it went over really well. The t...
MONTY MORROW We are losing chairs on almost a daily basis.
MONTY STANSBURY We are trying to avoid that. This chair will accommodate a broad range of employees.
MONTY STANSBURY You're cannon fodder unless you move the ball laterally on these wickets, but we utilized the ball a...
MONTY PANESAR It was my first experience playing with him - and playing with my other team-mates. It was great to ...
MONTY PANESAR It was gut wrenching, ... To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, ...
MONTY BEISEL It was gut wrenching. To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, I me...
MONTY BEISEL It took us four to five years to build a championship (at Southwestern). I think we've been making s...
MONTY LEWIS We shot ourselves in the foot with some opportunities more or less the whole game.
MONTY LEWIS I can't believe that. Let us win that first game and then we'll talk.
MONTY LEWIS He's everything we need. He doesn't have gaudy numbers, but his only focus is on being the best quar...
MONTY LEWIS I will say, incidentally, he was wide open and might have scored. There wasn't anybody around him. T...
MONTY LEWIS Scott Oakes thinks he's solely responsible for our losing, and he's not.
MONTY LEWIS We finally got some asphalt last week. I think the potholes have been patched so far. But it's still...
MONTY JACKSON Of course when I got to be a star on "Let's Make a Deal," I started getting 20 calls a week. I would...
MONTY HALL This season has really gotten off to a good start. The Cleveland Speedway fans and competitors have ...
MONTY MORROW The number of driveways is limited based upon the spacing as they front onto the county roadways. To...
MONTY STANSBURY The crowd chant his name when he comes on to bowl, when he gets on the team bus there are big cheers...
MONTY PANESAR Our defense really came together in that KW game. On both sides of the ball, our line has gotten so ...
MONTY LEWIS I have heard of juror disobedience.
MONTY HORMEL Actually, I'm an overnight success, but it took twenty years.
MONTY HALL Modern life is, for most of us, a kind of serfdom to mortgage, job and the constant assault to consu...
MONTY DON Kansas City wanted me back. I also visited Green Bay and Pittsburgh. But I just felt the opportunity...
MONTY BEISEL I had been riding horses before my memory kicked in, so my life with horses had no beginning. It sim...
MONTY ROBERTS I've had it. I did 4,700 episodes. Isn't that enough?
MONTY HALL Just from a pure motivation standpoint and the way he gets out there and plays the game it's uplifti...
MONTY BEISEL They feel like it was the first time they had a real vote on this issue.
MONTY SALYER I'd like to ask if we can obtain copies of what their needs were then. I'm hoping we will renew that...
MONTY SALYER The expectation was that the only problem with people on welfare was that they didn't have a job. Wh...
MONTY MARTIN The union was aware of the changing business environment even prior to negotiations.
MONTY VEST