Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?

She looked at me, confused. “He hardly knew me. My parents dated and got married before we knew what happened. Let’s just say we were not
brought into the loop on that decision.”

“That’s weird. I wasn’t brought into the loop with my parents’ marriage either.”

“Really? How old were you?”

“Twelve months.”

She giggled. “I can’t imagine why they didn’t ask your opinion.

That's my entire weekend. I had plans"

"A Vampire Dairies marathon is not plans." She looked at me like I lost my mind.


"Have you even seen the Salvatore brothers? Holy mother of gingersnaps.

Gemma was so determined for me to deal with my PTSD, but I thought I was doing pretty well with it. We were friends now. I had my incontinence under control

I was busy perusing the suicide notes and waiting for Belvedere's water to finish its treatment when I heard a thud from Cookie's office. Then a mousy squeak. The a throaty moan.

"Cookie," I said, wiggling my fingers at Belvedere to get him acquainted to with our strange ways, "are you masturbating?"

"No, I got a paper cut."

Oh, I didn't see that coming.

The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction.
I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve.
“Wut the foock?”
Did he just say the F-word?
“Ya not even foocking listening.”

“Ha! This is great,” I said to the dead naked guy. He ignored me. Ozzy was so entertaining