That's my entire weekend. I had plans"

"A Vampire Dairies marathon is not plans." She looked at me like I lost my mind.


"Have you even seen the Salvatore brothers? Holy mother of gingersnaps.

Do you know how hard it is to diet with a name like Cookie?” “That’s so weird.” I stared off into space, marveling at the similarities of our situation. “It’s hard to diet with a name like Charley, too

Where you just possessed?" Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. "'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.

I was busy perusing the suicide notes and waiting for Belvedere's water to finish its treatment when I heard a thud from Cookie's office. Then a mousy squeak. The a throaty moan.

"Cookie," I said, wiggling my fingers at Belvedere to get him acquainted to with our strange ways, "are you masturbating?"

"No, I got a paper cut."

Oh, I didn't see that coming.

Did you look at the memo?”
“What memo? We’re getting memos now?”
“I sent a memo a week ago. I’ve been sending you a memo every week with a list of all the updates and my notes on all our cases for weeks now.”
Holy cow. Missed the boat on that one. “Oh, those memos. I totally knew that.”
“You’re not even reading them, are you?”
“I thought they were optional.”
Note to self: Stop making paper airplanes out of Cookie’s memos.

Well?” she asked when she picked up.
“Do you think we’re really alone in the universe?”
“Were you abducted by aliens again?”
“No, thank goodness. Once was enough for me.”
“Oh, whew. So, what happened with Reyes? Did you see him?”
“Saw him. Argued with him. Barfed.