To see what they look like, women look at a mirror. To look like what they see, women read magazines.

The news is glorified gossip.

Between Monday and Saturday men make an audience. On Sunday, they make a congregation.

Narcissism is as profitable to a model as scruffiness is to a homeless person.

Expensive clothing is a poor man’s attempt to appear prosperous.

High heels are a short (theist) woman's (subconscious) way of telling God to go to hell … in public.