To gain height, lose all your tall friends.

Wealth is relative. Some people aren’t really rich; they just have poor neighbors.

To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.

To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you’ve lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you.

Some people aren’t really light-teethed; they’re merely dark-skinned.

What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.