To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.