This is my home, pure and simple. I know that doesn't mean much to some people who pick up and move every few years, but it means everything to me.

Everyone thinks we're crazy for staying here, but we're just trying to save our home. Where am I going to go? I don't want to move to Oklahoma or Florida. I really love it here. I love St. Bernard.

If you keep your thumb over the opening so that just a little trickles out, you can take a shower with three 12-ounce bottles. But it takes six bottles if you want to wash your hair.

He said it's a total loss, but that's a load of bull. We just need to strip the walls to the studs, pressure wash everything and then get out the bleach. A little bleach will clean anything.

The Orkin people did an inspection and didn't find any fleas.

This isn't like doing it at home. There's no temperature gauge. If I slop grease out there, I'll be in big trouble. Lard is very flammable. All you need is a splat.