They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately.

Abbott: Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
Costello: That's what I want to find out.

Once they get their hooks into you, you're a dead pigeon.

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive.

You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?

Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time.