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They had some jokes. They think they're funny. I got them back.


Mike Imoh

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They didn't have to be funny — they were father jokes.
TERRY PRATCHETT But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they’re not so funny anymore.
JONATHAN DUNNE Its a funny thing, I noticed that when people are joking theyre usually dead serious, and when theyr...
JIM MORRISON I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who a...
MARIA SHRIVER We had some key players that were out. They got them back and they have made a difference. They are ...
DANIEL VALDEZ I got three. They were weak fish, so I had to throw them back.
EILEEN JOSEPH We've had people look at us funny when they see us together somewhere. They think that's odd for som...
CHRIS GIVENS They started cracking jokes, and I said: 'Ain't nothing funny when I have to work the next day.'
BRUCE WHITE For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them w...
AL FRANKEN Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remai...
SETH MACFARLANE We really thought we had them. They fought back and got back in it.
CRAIG KOWAL He had a knack for getting things out of people that others never got out of them — niches and hidd...
DON HEWITT A lot of people here some South in your mouth, and they automatically think you're dumb. They think ...
DAVID PIETRUSZA I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh beca...
PAULA DEEN My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of ...
CECILY STRONG I think they are getting tired of seeing us and I think we are tired of seeing them. We've had some ...
STEVE HUNTER I'm gullible. I think people mean what they say.
COLIN TREVORROW They are always the problem. There is no evil in this world you cannot blame on them. The world will...
JAMES ROZOFF I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but h...
STEVE FINLEY Some big guys, they think struttin' the muscle will put your tail between your legs, but all they go...
DEAN KOONTZ Every time I told them a true bit, it got a bigger reaction than any of the jokes I had written,
DAVE GORMAN They had some good receivers last week and I think we pretty much held them in check.
CHRIS HAWKINS When the football team was down I just told some jokes and got them laughing their butts off."
...
JOE ALLAN Credit to them. I thought we had them on the ropes in the second quarter but then they came back and...
SCOTT ALBERSSEN When I was a kid, I would do Andrew Dice Clay jokes for my siblings. Like, we'd be on vacation, ...
NICK KROLL Vanderbilt felt like they had some momentum and we wanted to take that back from them.
DARIAN TOWNES We just didn't play defense consistently. We started shooting well when we got some stops. They were...
IKE NWAELELE The words I'm singing now Mean nothing more than meow to an animal
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. ...
MITT ROMNEY I like it when I can sing half of a verse and throw the mike in some kid's face, and they sing i...
MITCHEL MUSSO We didn't open any doors for them. I just think they got some bounces. I'm not going to say they won...
JAY MCKEE I think we got very tentative after some individuals missed their first shots. I told them that as l...
KATHY FEDORJAKA Some women flirt more with what they say, and some with what they do.
ANNA HELD I think they got the lead and thought that was good. They sat back a little bit.
JEFF LENHERR Now they have a riddle.

- Criminal Minds
DEYTH BANGER And what do they want!?
DEYTH BANGER I think David Letterman is a genius. Night after night he is funny and smart. He seems to really enj...
CASEY AFFLECK I think they got us back on our heels a little early. The crowd and the intensity really had an effe...
MALLORIE WINN I thought they deserved to win, they had more good chances to score. I thought it was funny that peo...
DAVE ESSE We got some help from them because they missed the free throws but we still had to make some shots o...
DONNIE MARSH They do some funny-looking stuff,
D.J. SHOCKLEY They're focused and they have some goals they want to achieve. I've got a lot of confidence in them....
MATT CHAPMAN I thought I had pretty good relations with them, but they said, 'We're not giving you any names. You...
DEREK PARRA When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was...
PAUL MERTON Some kids got letters back, some got merchandise. (It helps the) kids realize that, by writing, they...
MATT BUCKLEY I think last week made them hungry and made them realize they can qualify. I think they've got their...
JACK WARNER I think our defense was the key thing. I think we got up on their guards, and forced them to do some...
JOE GAITHER I think I did a good job for them. I think they should bring me back.
JULIO FRANCO The difference was the speed. It will take some time for them to catch up. I complimented (Phillips)...
BOB STACEY They had questions and I answered them. That's all. That's all I got.
BILL YOUNG I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I kn...
ALAN MOORE The mines on television have all these pipes and tubes in them. They never had anything like that ba...
DORIS WILSON I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were s...
WENDY LIEBMAN Honestly, I like someone who is really grounded, super sweet, honest. I need them to have a sense of...
CASPER SMART The thing is, some girls think they can actually change guys. And what’s funny is that if they act...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY We set them back on their heels early. But when they got rolling, they rolled.
DAN STARKEY I think we ran them off before they got any of it,
THE ARCHIVES I think Mike had his team as well prepared as he could. They wrestled tough in every match. He's def...
SKIP PIGHETTI This 51 Phoenix Racing team, I love them to death. They've got my back, I've got theirs.
KURT BUSCH We kept staying aggressive. They got some runs and we had the attitude that we were going to come ri...
AMY SAELENS The big hits they had were where I was behind in the count and I had to come at them. They got the h...
EDWIN JACKSON I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of th...
STEVE HARVEY They say the Pharaohs built the pyramids Do you think one Pharaoh dropped one bead of sweat? We buil...
ANNA LOUISE STRONG I really think the homer changed Roy. We had the momentum early and gave it back. But when Mike hit ...
PHIL GARNER I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I...
JACK BUCK I didn't think some of them would get that seeding, but they all had good singles records, and it is...
LAURA GOUTCHER That's their style of play. I think Mike might be disappointed if they didn't play that way.
TONY DUNGY I don't think these kids understand how important every possession is. We got the game won, and we d...
DAVID PEAVY Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to te...
CAROL BURNETT We were a little concerned about them being nervous and I think some of them were. After we got into...
BILL PLEIN We got on our heels. They made some tips, some steals, got some points. I think we just kind of fell...
TODD ABERNETHY We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are...
DANIEL DENNETT I wanted to go right at them, but they handled it. They came back so you got to give them credit, so...
BILL MULLINS Overall I think we played extremely hard. We had plenty of offensive opportunities. I think Northeas...
BRIAN DUROCHER They were playing hard. They have some talent on that team. They haven't given up. They were very ag...
BRIAN WINTERS Our kids wanted to get the ball on the rim so early, they didn't take good shots. Some of them were ...
HEATH COWAN Some people, they got housing loans, and I think they're responsible for taking a loan they didn...
JON LOVITZ I saw them play with confidence and heart. They have been playing with heart all season, but tonight...
ERIC FOUST We had our opportunities. We had the lead and they got back into the game.
JACK BAGLEY I was very proud of them. It was heavy on their hearts and they moved fast. Peyton got the plane lin...
ARCHIE MANNING They had some shots, they just kind of weren't falling for them.
BLAIR MARTINEAU The deadline is set and they think I am their pet.
SANTOSH KALWAR Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell som...
DEMETRI MARTIN They got some looks tonight, and they just didn't make them tonight. Any other night they probably k...
BOB SCOTT It makes me feel good that some people underestimate me and then I go out and prove them wrong, ... ...
DARREN SPROLES We knew they were going to make a run, and we got out (of) the gate early, ... We couldn't play all ...
CHARLOTTE OBSERVER They started knocking down some shots. They took some things away with their defense, but we got som...
ADAM LORIA It's definitely disappointing. I told the kids afterwards that they need to learn how to finish. We ...
ANDY HUBBARD My friends don't think they're rich, because they know someone who's richer.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and se...
DR. JEFFREY BORENSTEIN Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and se...
DR. JEFFREY BORENSTEIN We had them wore down pretty good in the first half, but they got some big plays and the momentum ju...
ALAN SORENSEN Last weekend I wasn't great, but tonight I felt like I was right back on top of my game. I know they...
BRYAN BRIDGES You've got to give the Suns credit for their execution. I think we played even with them, although t...
LINDSEY HUNTER Kyle coming out and hitting those two 3s was really big. I think they got down and I think that made...
DOUG STIVERSON I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
DEMETRI MARTIN I don't think any team stops playing hard because they had some injuries.
RICK DIPIETRO It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. Bu...
KHALED HOSSEINI Many of them, they come back and they go out again. They come back for a visit, or they come back at...
ERNESTO PERNIA When we got those numbers, I wasn't sure what they meant. But when we got them back yesterday from t...
CAROL DAVIS

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MIKE BIRBIGLIA I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jo...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don&#...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Sometimes I'll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in ...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people,...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I'm eating pizza. Like, I...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecomin...
MIKE BIRBIGLIA