There's a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren't coming after me!

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."

You work your butt off and somebody says you can't have your record played because it offends them. Tyrants are made of such stuff.