The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.

I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.