The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself.


Tommy Chong

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More Tommy Chong

I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead.
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Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya.
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The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya.
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You can't become a dictator through checks and balances.
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The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil.
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They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.
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The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career.
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Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy ...
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Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick b...
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Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call.
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Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies.
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No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in.
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Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musician...
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A lot of prophets have gone to jail.
TOMMY CHONG
I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime.
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I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life.
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But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible.
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Everything that happens to me is very cosmic.
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IT workers at some companies have learned that blind people can compete. But lots of others have nev...
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It's always hard when you're looking at infrastructure projects, because you're always going to be o...
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This is a new program that we announced earlier this year. We asked communities to submit their appl...
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We have addressed the situation.
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I have a good mind but I don't like to bore anyone with it.
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Unattractive people are more obsessed with looks.
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You can seduce a man without taking anything off, without even touching him.
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I think it's dangerous to think that you're successful, because then you become complacent.
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I thought, if I went into business I'd be able to control my own destiny.
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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
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Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts.
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The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possibl...
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He sai...
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When you - when you become the manager of a major league team, particularly the Dodgers, to me, that...
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We're all put here for a reason. And one little movement changes your way of life.
TOMMY LASORDA
I am so happy and proud to learn of Hideo Nomo's election to the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame....
TOMMY LASORDA
When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we&...
TOMMY LASORDA
I love doubleheaders. That way I get to keep my uniform on longer.
TOMMY LASORDA
No, we don't cheat. And even if we did, I'd never tell you.
TOMMY LASORDA
I bleed Dodger blue!
TOMMY LASORDA
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
TOMMY LASORDA
You can wake up every day and make today better than the last.
TOMMY LASORDA
I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I'm going to the big Dodger in the sky.
TOMMY LASORDA
I believe managing is like holding a dove in your hand. If you hold it too tightly you kill it, but ...
TOMMY LASORDA
Guys ask me, don't I get burned out? How can you get burned out doing something you love? I ask ...
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'Pressure' is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure,...
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If you don't love the Dodgers, there's a good chance you may not get into Heaven.
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TOMMY LASORDA
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You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.
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The Ramones were not about having a good time. The closest thing probably was maybe Joey and Dee Dee...
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The Dawn Wall and the Fitz Traverse were super-satisfying climbs. But I will always be searching for...
TOMMY CALDWELL
Stand at the base and look up at 3,000 feet of blankness. It just looks like there's no way you ...
TOMMY CALDWELL
I grew up a clumsy kid with bad hand-eye coordination. Yet here on El Cap, I felt as though I had st...
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When I was 15 years old, I used to actually dream I was pitching in Yankee Stadium. Bill Dickey was ...
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I'm telling you, I don't like cheaters.
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If the United States is hit with a weapon of mass destruction that inflicts large casualties, the Co...
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Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around ...
TOMMY COOPER
I've had heroes in my life - Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth.
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I was born in Budapest, Hungary, and moved to the United States in 1956. It was during the Hungarian...
TOMMY RAMONE
Always give an autograph when somebody asks you.
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We have learned the need to be flexible or to have flexible forces, agile forces, who can move quick...
TOMMY FRANKS
I had eight brothers and sisters. Every Christmas my younger brother Bobby would wake up extra early...
TOMMY HILFIGER
I do not care whether you're a Democrat or you're a Republican or an independent. We must pu...
TOMMY LASORDA
I remember burying a girl fourteen years of age who had died with a ruptured appendix... I buried a ...
TOMMY DOUGLAS
There are three types of baseball players: Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and t...
TOMMY LASORDA
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age....
TOMMY COOPER
Any vehicle that conveys great songs and the ability to perform them, whether it's 'N Sync o...
TOMMY MOTTOLA
They could never beat me in Springfield. I loved that old ballpark. If I could have pitched there al...
TOMMY LASORDA
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. T...
TOMMY COOPER
Acid wasn't getting a whole lot of bad press at the time, and as I saw the whole bad-press thing...
TOMMY RETTIG
The Radiohead record, The Bends is my all-time favorite record on the planet.
TOMMY LEE
There are no more heroes in America. Because of the Internet, heroism has become momentary and withi...
TOMMY MOTTOLA
Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.
TOMMY DOUGLAS
The best thing about being rich is the freedom; freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. I...
TOMMY LEE
I've always gravitated towards the beats, obviously. And when I was growing up, I always loved f...
TOMMY LEE
I started in the lowest league in baseball, and I worked my way all the way up to Triple A and then ...
TOMMY LASORDA
My house is really clean. It's a really big house so I have three ladies who come in and clean i...
TOMMY LEE
Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's be...
TOMMY LASORDA
We live in a world full of people who are satisfied with pretending to be someone they are not.
TOMMY TRAN
Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it's bec...
TOMMY LASORDA
The only Angels in Los Angeles are in Heaven, and they're looking down on the Dodgers.
TOMMY LASORDA
The horses forced into the chuckwagon races die of heart attacks, broken necks, broken legs, and oth...
TOMMY LEE
I disapprove of lots of decisions made by George Bush: the war, the meddling in the affairs of other...
TOMMY HILFIGER
We have learned that precision munitions go precisely where they're targeted to go. We've le...
TOMMY FRANKS
Everything I have, I owe to baseball and the Dodgers.
TOMMY LASORDA
When I took the job as the manager of the Olympic team, I didn't take it because I was a Dodger....
TOMMY LASORDA
Drumming's pretty physical. We sit at the back of the stage getting beat up like a workhorse.
TOMMY LEE
Most drummers are covered with a million drums, and everyone is like, 'What are you doing back t...
TOMMY LEE
Too many drummers sit at the back covered in drums, and you never see them.
TOMMY LEE
The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial.
TOMMY SMOTHERS
If I have an idea, I write it down, although I usually carry a little dictation machine with me beca...
TOMMY SHAW
The quad toms are a completely different animal than the standard drum set/trap kit. Playing wise an...
TOMMY LEE
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
TOMMY MANVILLE
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
TOMMY COOPER
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
TOMMY SMOTHERS
The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs.
TOMMY LASORDA
Getting married in four days was the biggest... mistake I've ever made. I have two beautiful kid...
TOMMY LEE
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
TOMMY BOLT
He wants Texas back. (when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela mig...
TOMMY LASORDA
In high school, I got into folk music, and I taught myself guitar. And when The Beatles came out, I ...
TOMMY RAMONE
Stupidity is genius, it's the genius part that is often misunderstood.
TOMMY POLO
Express yourself, don't hurt yourself.
TOMMY WISEAU