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The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bull shit.


Richard Pryor

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The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.
RICHARD PRYOR I was thinking about vampires and, specifically, about what makes vampires a romantic trope: about w...
ALAYA DAWN JOHNSON Most vampires I have discovered are men for some reason. I guess it's because of Dracula; people...
OCTAVIA E. BUTLER Fangs are more pointed, and vampires use fangs to bite people on the neck.'
'Yech! Who'd want t...
DEBORAH AND JAMES HOWE Neither you, nor me, are "just vampires." Being vampires is just a part of what we are. There is no ...
TOMU OHMI Vampires are super sexy.
P. C. CAST One could not blame a people for disliking vampires. Vampires were like brussels sprouts - not for e...
GAIL CARRIGER I'm Cuban, so I know a lot of people who act like vampires. But wait, vampires have to be invite...
VALERIE CRUZ Film spectators are quiet vampires.
JIM MORRISON Vampires are always going to be sexy.
JAKE ABEL I often think a lot of women's attraction to vampires is based on the fact that vampires come fr...
STEPHEN MOYER There is a certain swagger with vampires.
CHARLES MICHAEL DAVIS I think that vampires are sexy. The idea of them being untouchable has been really exciting for peop...
JENN PROSKE Society’s vampires are drawn like the predators to the vulnerable prey.
STEVEN REDHEAD The difference between vampires and angels? Angels are real.
LISA GRACE Are vampires kinky? I didn't know.
ROGER EBERT She wondered if there were any ugly vampires, or maybe any fat ones.
Maybe they didn't make vam...
CASSANDRA CLARE Now that, my friends, is what we vampires call a good exit.
CHLOE NEILL What I'm working on now - I'm back to fantasy, although considering that it's me, I'...
OCTAVIA BUTLER Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
MATT GROENING People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.
TRACY MORGAN Vampires are total sexual metaphors; there's just no way around that.
ALAN BALL We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergi...
CHRIS ROCK Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
DAN CASTELLANETA Vampires and teens have a lot in common. Teens have surging hormones, vampires have surging blood lu...
P. C. CAST And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think ...
STEPHENIE MEYER Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.
CHARLAINE HARRIS It's not like vampires are inherently bad. It's just people need to make better vampire movi...
DREW GODDARD The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And mayb...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes.
RICHELLE MEAD People are like vampires, they suck the best qualities out of people they date. Thats why one day, y...
NATHAN ELMO MELO Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Vampires were always able to transform into creatures of the night. The dark creatures like bats hav...
LUKE EVANS Vampires are sexy to a woman perhaps because the fantasy is similar to that of the man on the white ...
FRANK LANGELLA Faeries and vampires were glittery now? Honestly.
KIERSTEN WHITE Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away.
CALVIN TRILLIN Jewish vampires: Starve me to death? Seriously? Then what?
TASHA TURNER Believe in angels? Then believe in vampires. Believe in me. There are worse things on earth.
ANNE RICE Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read th...
ANNE RICE How often do you have to drink?”
“Every night, to feel good. Every few nights, to stay san...
RAINBOW ROWELL Some are born to sweet delight, Some are born to endless night.
WILLIAM BLAKE Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that...
JOE ROGAN There are many vampires in the world today... you only have to think of the film business.
CHRISTOPHER LEE I think with vampires, you can't really go wrong. For generations, vampires have been a hit beca...
ASHLEY GREENE If you look at all the vampires in the past, they were sort of decrepit old men. Stephanie Meyers ju...
DANIEL CUDMORE Jewish vampires: blood can’t be kosher… can it?
TASHA TURNER We really are kindred spirits you know; conjurers in love with vampires. The Vamp Tramps!
QUINTERIA RAMEY As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Why do these crazy vampires keep trying to collect me?
JEANIENE FROST There are only so many roles as empresses... but I've had a lot of offers to play vampires.
JOAN CHEN Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He curled up, twitching and spasming, the pain stormtrooping through his entire body in agonizing, d...
BLAKE CROUCH I’m a little worried about Edward… Can vampires go into shock?
STEPHENIE MEYER One of the things that may appeal to teenagers is that vampires never change - they're frozen in...
NANCY A. COLLINS The king of comedy is dead. Richard Pryor was the king of comedy. The rest of them are the king of c...
PAUL MOONEY Jewish vampires: We turn into cats not bats bwaaahaha
TASHA TURNER Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human
TASHA TURNER People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he'...
HANNIBAL BURESS What are you afraid of?' I asked.
'Airplanes, guns, large predators, ad master vampires.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON Some people around us are energy vampires while others are energy boosters. Our bodies resonate like...
HINA HASHMI My favourite vampires are all very scary indeed. So the idea of falling in love with one is just wei...
JUSTINE LARBALESTIER Vampires are cruel." Steopa said. "we exist to weed out the weak and the unneeded. We feed on humans...
MARI MINIATT On the comedy side of what I love as a filmmaker are Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, and Eddie Murphy; t...
DAVID DOBKIN Unless the object of the singer’s affection is a vampire, surely what Hart means is unphotogenic. ...
STEPHEN SONDHEIM Another vampire pushed her way through the crowd to stand at his
side—a pretty blue-haired As...
CASSANDRA CLARE I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dr...
JIM BUTCHER If vampires and werewolves were walking around today, there would be chaos. People would be losing t...
RUTINA WESLEY If you’re a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don’t hate them; you...
AMY SCHUMER By expressing his heart, anger and joy, Richard Pryor took comedy to its highest form.
STEVE MARTIN Vampires have started their "Noble" work by directing Soaps (TV Serials)...
VIJAYRAJ BHATT I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
ARTIE LANGE The life of a vampire begins with the first bite.
A.J. GALLANT Do not let someone else's perception or judgment enslave your own. That is a trait create by tabloid...
RACHEL-ERIKA HENDERSON When I go home, the last thing I want to do is read about the popular lore of vampires.
ALAN BALL I love her approach to the Gothic world. She made these vampires just like us.
LINDA WOOLVERTON Vampires are handy characters, as they can do double duty as monster/villains and the classic, misun...
NANCY A. COLLINS I've won Satan's lottery.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Jealous?"

"Maybe."

"No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.
RACHEL CAINE There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the wo...
TERRY PRATCHETT So this was different. I was amazing now - to them and to myself. It was like I had been born to be ...
STEPHENIE MEYER Maybe we'll have vampire prom."
He shot me an appalled look. "What is this, Twilight?
VERONICA WOLFF Everyone represses everything. Do you think any of these "normal" human beings really do exactly wha...
MATT HAIG Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers.
ILONA ANDREWS He'll come back," Simon said again. "For you.
CASSANDRA CLARE I can’t help being a gorgeous fiend. It’s just the card I drew.
ANNE RICE Sometimes it's not the optimist you need, but another pessimist to walk beside you and know, absolut...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON Sometimes it would be nice not to have to do my best. Sometimes it would just be nice not to have a ...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON I can't simply adopt strays because they seem winsome.
RACHEL CAINE Just because you don't know how to do something doesn't mean it can't be done.
JEANIENE FROST I’m not staying Archer, I can’t trust you not to hurt me again if it serves whatever purposes yo...
J.L. MCCOY You are afraid to die?'
Yes, everyone is.'
But to die as lovers may - to die together, so ...
J. SHERIDAN LE FANU Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffsNotes.
RACHEL CAINE Every vampire fiction reinvents vampires to its own needs. You take what you want.
JOSS WHEDON Puppets seem like vampires sometimes. They live, and you're depleted.
HENRY SELICK We love a lot of vampire fiction - both fiction in which the vampires are enemies to be battled or s...
SARAH REES BRENNAN There's just something about vampires that's sexy. It's the same reason why women go for...
NINA DOBREV I don’t see a way in,” Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?” Myrnin whispered back. “...
RACHEL CAINE There are vampires. They are real, they are of our time, and they are here, close by, stalking us as...
NICKY RAVEN I think vampires would want to find a way to stay attached to the living, the way human beings do, a...
ALEXANDRA CASSAVETES We once succsessfully breeded a bull dog and a shitzu, and we called it a bull shit.
JEFF DANIALS FROM DUMB AND DUMBER

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RICHARD ENGEL ...in the assassination of three of its first four caliphs, the “successors” to Mohammed and rul...
RICHARD ENGEL The jet stream is a very strong force and pushing a balloon into it is like pushing up against a bri...
RICHARD BRANSON The exact meaning of irony is so narrow that the word is hardly worth using; in its broad, current d...
RICHARD CORLISS I was really disappointed that Warner Bros. didn't think highly enough of my film or my filmmaki...
RICHARD DONNER There are risks in the sheer brevity of Twitter, and it's actually quite an elegant art reducing...
RICHARD DAWKINS Have a bias toward action -- let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small ...
RICHARD THALHEIMER Our imagination is stretched to the utmost, not, as in fiction, to imagine things which are not real...
RICHARD FEYNMAN As the enjoyment of God is the heaven of the Saints, so the loss of God is the hell of the ungodly. ...
RICHARD BAXTER Commemoration of Richard Baxter, Priest, Hymnographer, Teacher, 1691 I apprehended it a Matter o...
RICHARD BAXTER Commemoration of Richard Baxter, Priest, Hymnographer, Teacher, 1691 Lord, it belongs not to my car...
RICHARD BAXTER Ye holy angels bright, Who wait at God's right hand, Or through the realms of light Fly at your L...
RICHARD BAXTER Cotton Owens was leading and daddy was second. They came up on me and I moved over to let them pass....
RICHARD PETTY One time Robert Plant was set to check into the same room after I checked out, so I removed every li...
RICHARD MARX I came here as a practical man, to talk, not simply on the question of peace and war, but to treat a...
RICHARD COBDEN Aerodynamics is mathematics for those who haven't learned to do calculus. In my case, too, for o...
RICHARD BACH You know, there's a real irony in U.S. assistance programs. First of all, I think it's misna...
RICHARD ARMITAGE Puberty for me was graduating from Thousand Island salad dressing to Caesar salads. It was like goin...
RICHARD SIMMONS