The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff Foxworthy
Related The problem with the designated driver programme, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get ... JEFF BRIDGES The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing i... JEFF FOXWORTHY I liked myths. They weren't adult stories and they weren't children's stories. They were better than... NEIL GAIMAN The problem with compassion is that it is not photogenic. SEBASTIAN HORSLEY That's the problem with ADHD: I have no focus; I get bored. HANNAH GADSBY The problem with me is that nothing embarrasses me. DAVID HASSELHOFF I'll find you, don't worry. My body won't be with you all the time, but you'll always have my heart.... P.C. CAST The problem with meditating is I generally go to sleep, and that's because I'm doing it wron... MARGARET ATWOOD If you catch yourself wondering why you want more of the world and you're not satisfied with God, it... CRAIG GROESCHEL The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. DAVID GERROLD The problem with prototypes is they don't always work. LAURIE ANDERSON All day long you sit and sew, Stitch life down for fear it grow, Stitch life down fo... EDITH SITWELL Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar. MARGARET MITCHELL It's your fault, Eeyore. You've never been to see any of us. You just stay here in this one corner o... A.A. MILNE The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES I just never thought I'd get to see how beautiful you'd become JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT You're beautiful, too. I mean, you're hot,” I blurted out. “But I always knew you would be.” m... JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. BILL WATTERSON The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit. DAVID LEE ROTH She herself is a haunted house. She does not possess herself; her ancestors sometimes come and peer ... ANGELA CARTER Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't? DAVID WONG Water flows because it's willing. MARTY RUBIN Go with the flow even if there are rapids ahead. JIM GENOVESE Don't resist life, flow with it. JIM GENOVESE Life is more like dancing than wrestling if you follow its rhythm. JIM GENOVESE Longing hearts could only stand so much longing. MARGARET MITCHELL Dive into the river of the present, but don't thrash about, go with the flow. JIM GENOVESE Suddenly she felt strong and happy. She was not afraid of the darkness or the fog and she knew with ... MARGARET MITCHELL 28. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. It's what you do with them that causes the problems. JAMES C. DOBSON That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. KARL PILKINGTON The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. HUMPHREY BOGART She buys "mixed salad greens" for seven dollars a bag, triple-washed with who knows what. And to get... RUDOLPH DELSON The problem with a cost reduction strategy is that there is a finite limit.You can only get to zero. ELIYAHU GOLDRATT Its's not good to have fears like this. It only makes it more likely that you'll die that way--a sel... SUZANNE YOUNG She had about her a strong smell of hair-spray and her lunch-time whisky. ELIZABETH TAYLOR I like to not have to be 'on' for anybody. INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE The Legend of Zorro, INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE Louis, Louis, Louis...Stil whining, Louis! Are you quite finished? I've had to listen to that for ce... INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE Louis: I'm flesh and blood, but not human. I haven't been human for two hundred years. INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE Louis: You see that old woman? That will never happen to you. You will never grow old, and you will ... INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE Remembering something from the past? you are creating it right now as evidence for who you are now. FREDERICK DODSON The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life. HARLAND WILLIAMS The problem with losing your anonymity is that you can never go back. MARLA MAPLES I was interested in Java the beginning, but the problem with Java is you do have to switch your plat... MIGUEL DE ICAZA The problem with TV now is that there's so much competition, that you're always on the chopp... ELISHA CUTHBERT Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters. JEFFREY FRY They knew that love snatched in the face of danger and death was doubly sweet for the strange excite... MARGARET MITCHELL Take my handkerchief, Scarlett. Never, at any crisis of your life, have I known you to have a h... MARGARET MITCHELL Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit t... EMILY GIFFIN O full and splendid Moon, whom I Have, from this desk, seen climb the sky So many a midnig... JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE Time is a teacher which in the end it kills all it's students. (Synchronicity 2015 Film) DEYTH BANGER The problem with doing a schlocky or big budget studio film is that it wouldn't actually be fun ... DAVID CRONENBERG Tomas turned the key and switched on the ceiling light. Teraza saw two beds pushed together, one of ... MILAN KUNDERA She emptied her mind of all thought of herself, of her children, of all anger, of all rebellion, of ... MARIO PUZO The problem with doing physically ambitious art is that to view it, you still have to be in your phy... MOLLY CRABAPPLE It's stasis that kills you off in the end, not ambition. BONO You deserve to be with somebody, who knows you're the one, from that very first moment he lays eyes ... C. JOYBELL C. don’t say you’se ole. You’se uh lil girl baby all de time. God made it so you spent yo’ ole ... ZORA NEALE HURSTON Tea was good. Tea was possibly the safest drink in the entire Empire. It defied anything untoward. KATE HARPER The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples' money. MARGARET THATCHER The problem with real estate is that it's local. You have to understand the local market. ROBERT KIYOSAKI At the end of the day, you have to look at, 'Are they knowledgeable? Are they doing their job?... COLIN KAEPERNICK She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. DIANA WYNNE JONES What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO You really want to make sure that you have fun, at the end of the day. If it's not fun, what'... AYELET ZURER In the end, night calls and we go. Mind, body and soul we go. MARTY RUBIN The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or ... PAULA POUNDSTONE The problem with taking amps to a shop is that they come back sounding like another amp. STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer. JOAN COLLINS The problem with living in a fast-food nation is that we expect food to be cheap. ALICE WATERS If you drop it below your waist, it's going to be a flatter kick, but if you drop it higher, it will... CHRIS WRIGHT Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven princeling in! If it wer... J.R.R. TOLKIEN Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, wi... THE BOOK OF THE DEAD When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in t... THE WORK OF THE CHARIOT How do you know they are Hunters?" Lucien asked. "They had guns and knives strapped to their bo... GENA SHOWALTER It's just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart ar... KAREN MARIE MONING The Bible makes it clear that every time that there is a story of faith, it is completely original. ... EUGENE H. PETERSON You have to ignore risks, put your brain on hold and follow your instincts, even when your head insi... DARREN SHAN Children are like water; they don't much care where the stream takes them. They do nothing to avoid ... NILESH RATHOD Lambhood and tigerishness may be found in either gender, and in the same individual at different tim... MARGARET ATWOOD The problem of the twentieth century is the problem of the color line. W.E.B. DU BOIS As long as that song plays, I get to put my hands on you, and I can’t guarantee I’m going to be ... MEREDITH WILD Just give me one night, Vanessa. One night, and I won’t let you regret it. MEREDITH WILD You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have. CRAIG GROESCHEL The End is Nigh!" the man shouted. "Is there still time for hot chocolate?" Riley asked. T... JANA OLIVER It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there. PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU Let me finish my beer." (Stark) "Of course. The end of the world can wait.(Kasabian) RICHARD KADREY Here was one with an air of high nobility such as Aragorn at times revealed, less high perhaps, yet ... J.R.R. TOLKIEN I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT We all have an old house because of the things we have done in the past.We also have ghosts haunting... GARY F EVANS... Just because it won't last doesn't mean it isn't worth something. NINA DE GRAMONT Cupid," Jason called, "where are you?" 'Where you least expect me,' Cupid answered. 'As love al... RICK RIORDAN Renew your mind by washing it with truth: God's Word. CRAIG GROESCHEL Orion is above the horizon now, and near it Jupiter, brighter than it will ever be ... But i expect ... THOMAS HARRIS Isn't it amazing that we’ll cause ourselves more pain by thinking about, and avoiding something we... JAMES A. MURPHY Time is so important.'so spend time doing something that you love.' make the most of it and Let the ... NAPZ CHERUB PELLAZO The profound ability to use aural and written language has enabled our species to collectively explo... KATHERINE VUCICEVIC No, sweet one. See, my precious: if we has it, then we can escape, even from Him, eh? Perhaps we gro... J.R.R. TOLKIEN
More Jeff Foxworthy
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. JEFF FOXWORTHY Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? JEFF FOXWORTHY You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remem... JEFF FOXWORTHY Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if y... JEFF FOXWORTHY I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did. JEFF FOXWORTHY I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did. JEFF FOXWORTHY If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the wor... JEFF FOXWORTHY My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not ... JEFF FOXWORTHY If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the wor... 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JEFF FOXWORTHY Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you'... JEFF FOXWORTHY glorious absence of sophistication. JEFF FOXWORTHY You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more JEFF FOXWORTHY If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck. JEFF FOXWORTHY If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. JEFF FOXWORTHY You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. JEFF FOXWORTHY I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. JEFF FOXWORTHY You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. JEFF FOXWORTHY There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can g... 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JEFF COHEN The Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the gover... JEFF DUNCAN While the Census Bureau already has a legal obligation to keep people's information confidential... JEFF DUNCAN Monkeys can't talk, stupid! JEFF KINNEY What Richard and Mildred Loving did was, by their nature, not by any calculus, they separated themse... JEFF NICHOLS I think Vice is vastly overrated. And I think that if you are interested in reaching young males, wh... JEFF ZUCKER Why - because as a oil and gas small business owner - I know if someone is not doing their job, they... JEFF LANDRY Protestations of indifference to higher office are hard to take seriously when the 'non-candidat... JEFF GREENFIELD One of the pillars of backward thinking in America is the idea that you can have jobs or you can hav... JEFF GOODELL I'm actually the son of Mary Guibert. My mother was born in the Panama Canal zone and came to Am... JEFF BUCKLEY I certainly try to avoid getting bogged down in forensics. There is certainly a whole lot of other w... JEFF LINDSAY I love the ocean. Boats, not so much. JEFF GOLDBLUM Sensitivity isn't being wimpy. It's about being so painfully aware that a flea landing on a ... JEFF BUCKLEY It is very difficult to get people to focus on the most important things when you're in boom tim... JEFF BEZOS People can transcend and overcome their differences and be very easily bonded. JEFF FORTENBERRY If I'm on form and I'm not being bothered too much by mental problems or whatever, I can whi... JEFF BECK It's not a born-again thing; it was a peaceful, really, really cool moment where I just felt tha... JEFF FISHER For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a ver... JEFF LINDSAY There is no such thing as political science, but there are tenancies so strong that they might as we... JEFF GREENFIELD Stop trying to treat music like it's a tennis shoe, something to be branded. If the music indust... JEFF TWEEDY For special wrestlers, there's somewhere else to go - as long as you're not brainwashed by t... JEFF HARDY From the industry's point of view, the problem is not that coal companies blast the top off moun... JEFF GOODELL I'm lying in my bed, blanket is warm, this body will never keep me safe from harm. I still feel ... JEFF BUCKLEY I am not going to approve the home-screening format for my film just carte blanche in lieu of a thea... JEFF NICHOLS Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this w... JEFF MACNELLY I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create. I am not a racist. I am not insensiti... JEFF SESSIONS Some of these people need ten years of therapy --ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of the... JEFF ZASLOW But there is a limit to thinking about even a small piece of something monumental. You still see the... JEFF VANDERMEER I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better th... JEFF LINDSAY You can't do everything but you can do something! JEFF DIXON Acting is nothing more or less than playing. The idea is to humanize life. JEFF GOLDBLUM Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. JEFF VALDEZ Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. JEFF PESIS Two monologues do not make a dialogue. JEFF DALY Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions... so find out how to light their fires. JEFF DEWAR We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there alw... JEFF WARNER Do you remember how slowly the days passed when you were a child? An 80-mile car trip seemed endless... JEFF DAVIDSON The beaten path is the safest, but the traffics terrible. JEFF TAYLOR What are the best times to reflect on the course of your life? Whenever you are near water, such as ... JEFF DAVIDSON Ask yourself, If I had only sixty seconds on the stage, what would I absolutely have to say to get m... JEFF DEWAR The constant dilemma of the information age is that our ability to gathera sea of data greatly excee... JEFF DAVIDSON We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. JEFF ARDER When a heart breaks
it also opens
-Jeff Arch- screenwriter. JEFF ARCH Two monologues do not make a dialogue. JEFF DALY You think Nature is some Disney movie? Nature is a killer. Nature is a bitch. It's feeding time out ... JEFF MELVOIN The law is not so much carved in stone as it is written in water, flowing in and out with the tide. JEFF MELVOIN Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. JEFF VALDEZ George Washington had a vision for this country. Was it three days of uninterrupted shopping? JEFF MELVOIN Sexually,we are all competing for the same seat on the bus and the thing that holds it together is t... JEFF MELVOIN When people are committed to things, and the world view they have is no longer in alignment with our... JEFF BAENA There are so many books I love for different reasons. For superhero stuff, I always go back to Alan ... JEFF LEMIRE I like Donald. I guess I shouldn't call him that. I like President Trump. He's affable. He... JEFF ZUCKER If you only do things where you know the answer in advance, your company goes away. JEFF BEZOS I think we're programmed for hardship. In my experience, human beings are happiest when they'... JEFF CARLSON Kids can sniff out when they are being preached to, and they don't like it. So while my books ar... JEFF KINNEY There's also a lot of gritty Americana type of bands. I actually have a lot of Britpop on my iPo... JEFF VANDERMEER With a nation at war against terrorism and our men and women on the front line defending our homelan... JEFF MILLER The funny thing about 'Take Shelter' is that a lot of people talk about how it was allegory ... JEFF NICHOLS The basic social contract is that citizens agree to follow the law, pay their taxes, and devote thei... JEFF SESSIONS The enemies of freedom are waging an all-out assault on the Second Amendment to the Constitution, wh... JEFF DUNCAN I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see... JEFF DUNHAM I would go to bed every night and have dreams about having a time machine and somehow I'd have t... JEFF MANGUM Today, energy prices are at historic highs. Some analysts estimate that energy price shocks this yea... JEFF BINGAMAN I'm a chairperson for 'No Kid Hungry', a campaign for poor American children. JEFF BRIDGES As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's... JEFF MILLER This was one of the places people told me to go, it was one the big trips that you should see: Alask... JEFF GOLDBLUM When we talk about the things at Airbnb that are challenging and that they are going to have to over... JEFF JORDAN Airbnb started with 'air bed and breakfast.' JEFF JORDAN I don't think our government really has much of a policy about air travel. I would compare the p... JEFF SMISEK I don't know any artists that are really emotionally well adjusted. In fact, I think we're a... JEFF BUCKLEY A company shouldn't get addicted to being shiny, because shiny doesn't last. JEFF BEZOS It is a significant acknowledgment that the way people are watching television is changing and the m... JEFF ZUCKER Critics... They're like traffic cops. They say what they have to say, then leave, and another gu... JEFF BUCKLEY Just because an individual in his 30s hasn't found true love and, yes, there are opportunities t... JEFF GARCIA Marriage has been defined by every legislature that has ever sat in the United States from every Sta... JEFF SESSIONS Corn is already the most subsidized crop in America, raking in a total of $51 billion in federal han... JEFF GOODELL The 2004 Election marks the first time in modern political history that Republican voter turnout mat... JEFF MILLER Reconciliation is a special budget procedure to change entitlement and tax laws. It cannot be filibu... JEFF MILLER It is no secret that our tax code is drastically outdated and burdensome to all Americans. Fortunate... JEFF MILLER I, in fact, have been involved in the construction of and the management of wastewater treatment pla... JEFF MILLER Every American knows there are government expenses that are absolutely not necessary. I disagree wit... JEFF MILLER As a taxpayer, I want to assure you that Republicans are doing everything we can to reduce wasteful ... JEFF MILLER It is not secret here in Congress we have not had the discipline in many instances to keep our hands... JEFF MILLER I've often argued that oil and gas exploration is a state's rights issue. It is abundantly c... JEFF MILLER I have always been a firm believer in the longstanding American principle of having the right to bea... JEFF MILLER Far too often we see attention paid to the firearm and not the criminal. JEFF MILLER All are free to believe or not believe; all are free to practice a faith or not. But those who belie... JEFF MILLER According to the U.S. Census, the most common reason people give for not voting is that they were to... JEFF MILLER I think it's unconscionable for a Senator from Massachusetts to come down here and tell the peop... JEFF MILLER I continue to vote against such spending increases, but sometimes I think some of my Republican coll... JEFF MILLER Democrats have no agenda, no plan for the future, and no sense of leadership. JEFF MILLER Second, the facility at Guantanamo Bay is necessary to national security. JEFF MILLER The marriage of a man and woman is the most enduring human institution, honored in all cultures and ... JEFF MILLER In our open society, we are inclined to give to the less fortunate for the pure goodness of giving. ... JEFF MILLER That future depends on the values of self-government, our sense of duty, loyalty, self-confidence an... JEFF MILLER We need religion as a guide. We need it because we are imperfect. Our government needs the church, b... JEFF MILLER The democratic process is only as great as the people who participate in it. JEFF MILLER To be able to always have a super sense of who I was and my own real identity and be petty and seem ... JEFF GOLDBLUM The human brain is an incredible pattern-matching machine. JEFF BEZOS All flowers in time bend towards the sun, I know you say there's no one for you, But here is one... JEFF BUCKLEY I don't really need to be remembered. I hope the music's remembered. JEFF BUCKLEY Legislation is the only lasting solution for the men and women brought to this country through no fa... JEFF DENHAM Decades of scientific research has proven that carbon pollution is harmful to human health and cause... JEFF MERKLEY Great industries are never made from single companies. There is room in space for a lot of winners. JEFF BEZOS I'm skeptical of any mission that has advertisers at its centerpiece. JEFF BEZOS The perception of Donald Trump in capitals around the world is shaped, in many ways, by CNN. Continu... JEFF ZUCKER The best customer service is if the customer doesn't need to call you, doesn't need to talk ... JEFF BEZOS I've never run into a person who yearns for their middle school days. JEFF KINNEY In reality, studies show that investments to spur renewable energy and boost energy efficiency gener... JEFF GOODELL Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there... JEFF DUNHAM I'm often loose with my tongue. I may have said something about the NAACP being un-American or C... JEFF SESSIONS I've always been at the intersection of computers and whatever they can revolutionize. JEFF BEZOS A brand for a company is like a reputation for a person. You earn reputation by trying to do hard th... JEFF BEZOS I belong to the political party that generally fits my philosophical beliefs, but I reserve the righ... JEFF FORTENBERRY The House of Representatives should not be locked down by the decided play of a few in leadership. JEFF FORTENBERRY Being myself is what got me to where I am. JEFF HARDY The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting g... JEFF MILLER I think fear is what keeps us from going over the edge. I mean, as a race car driver, I don't th... JEFF GORDON What we need to do is always lean into the future; when the world changes around you and when it cha... JEFF BEZOS