The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it.

If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie.

Twitter provides us with a wonderful platform to discuss/confront societal problems. We trend Justin Bieber instead.

Girls at war opt for a quieter cruelty than fistfights and drive-by shootings. Girls circumvent the corporeal and go straight for each other's souls. The bleeding is harder to stanch.

With the Smithies, it was different. There was sometimes no telling where one of them began and the others left off.

Let's still be friends" (things that are never true in a break up, but you have to say).