The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.


Walter Winchell

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The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother-and the public.
WALTER WINCHELL
I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES
The choreographer for the Milton Berle show wanted me to audition. I walked away from that.
DANNY AIELLO
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongsid...
ALAN KING
There were some television sets back in the '50s, but they were expensive. People would gather a...
AL FELDSTEIN
I remember tap-dancing and singing in front of the TV when I was a kid, telling my dad to stop watch...
ANDIE MACDOWELL
Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work...
DEAN MARTIN
There was a time... when people didn't go out of their house on Tuesday night at eight o'clo...
ED MCMAHON
Milton calls the university A stony-hearted step-mother.
AUGUSTINE BIRRELL
[Milton] calls the university "A stony-hearted step-mother."
AUGUSTINE BIRRELL
Often regulated industry or people who would benefit from decisions are the only ones with the infor...
ELIZABETH GARRETT
From the point of view of a spiritual life, it is not what you do that matters most, but the way in ...
THE MOTHER
Although my mother had the greatest love for Sir Walter Scott, and the highest appreciation of his p...
CATHERINE HELEN SPENCE
The only thing an actor owes his public is not to bore them.
MARLON BRANDO
Everybody would like to be remembered, the catch is do you want to be remembered for all the wrong r...
GARY F EVANS...
For a longtime we crawl on this earth like caterpillars, waiting for the splendid, diaphanous butter...
GREG CHALMERS
For a longtime we crawl on this earth like caterpillars, waiting for the splendid, diaphanous butter...
BERNARD HOLLAND
I'd seen all the great entertainers by the time I was 14 or 15. My mother was artistic. My fathe...
LAINIE KAZAN
We weren't kids, and not too many odds were in our favor, ... We didn't look the part of a rock grou...
BOB GAUDIO
The only people for me are the mad ones: the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,...
JACK KEROUAC
ONLY THE SMALL SECRETS NEED TO BE PROTECTED. THE BIG ONES ARE KEPT SECRET BY PUBLIC INCREDULITY.
MARSHALL MCLUHAN
An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King ...
DON RICKLES
Walter Mitty: To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to fi...
JAMES THURBER
Sean O'Connell: Sometimes I don't. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don't like to have the ...
JAMES THURBER
The only real experiences I've had with therapists were the ones who were working with me and my...
KEVIN SPACEY
There are unhappy parents, students and staff. The only ones who are happy are the administration.
CARMEN DAVIS
There are two kinds of writers; the great ones who can give you truths, and the lessor ones, who can...
CLIFTON FADIMAN
There are two kinds of writers; the great ones who can give you truths, and the lessor ones, who can...
CLIFF FADIMAN
I have a rescue dog named Walter, and Walter and I are such fans of the 'Jersey Shore' that ...
STEVE-O
We were the only ones who held the keys, the only ones who could end the violence.
DAVID KACZYNSKI
The only ones who can control our thoughts are ourselves.
LAURA E. BRUSSEAU
A fluent tongue is the only thing a mother don't like her daughter to resemble her in.
RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,...
JACK KEROUAC
Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children.
UNKNOWN
Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at t...
JERRY LEWIS
I am only a public entertainer who understands his time
PABLO PICASSO
The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
If we all look at life we think how nice, then we look at death and everybody goes oh you can say th...
GARY F EVANS...
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
DICK GREGORY
Who are these people, and why do they think their own opinions are the only right ones?
HUNTLEY FITZPATRICK
The Welsh are all actors. It's only the bad ones who become professional
RICHARD BURTON
The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you j...
STEVEN MOFFAT
From “Rock Star” in Every Lyric Tells A Story.
What happens to a rock star
When he get...
MARK WILKINS
The only people who think children are carefree are the ones who've forgotten their own childhood.
ORSON SCOTT CARD
[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be s...
JACK KEROUAC
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,...
JACK KEROUAC
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,...
JACK KEROUAK
. . . the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be ...
JACK KEROUAC
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
MILTON BERLE
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
MILTON BERLE
Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.
MILTON BERLE
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.
MILTON BERLE
People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made ...
MILTON BERLE
I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have ...
MILTON BERLE
Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was ...
MILTON BERLE
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies...
MILTON BERLE
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't k...
MILTON BERLE
They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames anot...
MILTON BERLE
I received a lot of complaints from parents who wrote and told me that their kids wouldn't go to...
MILTON BERLE
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
MILTON BERLE
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
MILTON BERLE
Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.
MILTON BERLE
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny thing...
MILTON BERLE
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years ol...
MILTON BERLE
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
MILTON BERLE
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching fo...
MILTON BERLE
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
MILTON BERLE
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
MILTON BERLE
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
MILTON BERLE
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
MILTON BERLE
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
MILTON BERLE
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the...
MILTON BERLE
Laughter is an instant vacation.
MILTON BERLE
If oppurtunity doesn't knock, build a door.
MILTON BERLE
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are;because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a s...
MILTON BERLE
Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
MILTON BERLE
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
MILTON BERLE
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's ...
MILTON BERLE
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlel...
MILTON BERLE
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
MILTON BERLE
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
MILTON BERLE
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
MILTON BERLE
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
MILTON BERLE
If it wasn't for the olives in his martinis, he'd starve to death!
MILTON BERLE
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
MILTON BERLE
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a ...
MILTON BERLE
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door
MILTON BERLE
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's...
MILTON BERLE
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
MILTON BERLE
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his h...
MILTON BERLE
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
MILTON BERLE
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
MILTON BERLE
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a ...
MILTON BERLE
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live
MILTON BERLE
A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Wh...
MILTON BERLE
I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching...
MILTON BERLE
When you think of all that goes into what you write you realize that only you see all that is needed...
BRENT M. JONES
Walls protect and walls limit. It is in the nature of walls that they should fall. That walls should...
JEANETTE WINTERSON
The only people who see the whole picture,' he murmured, 'are the ones who step out of the frame.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
The bravest people are the ones who don’t mind looking like cowards.
T.H. WHITE

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She's been on more laps than a napkin.
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Nothing recedes like success.
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Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
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Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.
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The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.
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Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
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I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.
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A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
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Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
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I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
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The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.
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Relationships are like crystals, you don't realize how much you love it until it breaks.
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Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile whe...
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Optimist: A man who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
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A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
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Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
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Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having i...
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We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they ...
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Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.
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I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
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Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone...
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It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
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If friends were flowers, I'd pick you
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Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there
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You won't realize the distance you've walked until you take a look around and realize how far you've...
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The best things in life come in threes, like friends, dreams, and memories.
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She's been on more laps than a napkin
WALTER WINCHELL
No! Someday you will understand. Just save it in a box.
WALTER WINCHELL
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pant...
WALTER WINCHELL
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother-and the public.
WALTER WINCHELL
Good evening Mr and Mrs America, from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. ...
WALTER WINCHELL
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
WALTER WINCHELL
and I worked on the voice for months. I would play tapes for people, and sometimes they couldn't tel...
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A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air
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In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side for ever more...that's what friends are for.
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Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tel...
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A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
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Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having i...
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He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to ston...
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No, I'll hold it. It'll make the show better.
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The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend
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I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That's all any of us can hope for.
APRIL WINCHELL
I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That's all any of us can hope for.
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I remember lying down for a nap one day at about 4:00 and walking up at 11:00 the next morning.
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I never have anything to talk about.
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I know you aren't supposed to speak ill of the dead.
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I have found that many other countries will buy off on anything American. As much as they hate us, t...
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I had glow in the dark bands made up and I've given away a ton of them.
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I had a migraine for about seven or eight straight days, and I was unable to sleep most nights.
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I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do.
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I am severely distracted these days. It's hard to sit in front of the computer, uploading bad music ...
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I always like to get local music when I'm in another country.
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My bedspread isn't washable. Since my bedding has to be washed every day, I'll have to throw...
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Like every aspect of cancer I've weathered thus far, today's experience was not at all demor...
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I think television defeats ventriloquism.
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Personally, I think tying garbage bags around your head and hands is overkill.
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Walt gave me a VIP tour of the studio. I remember people doing voices.
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Ventriloquism today is in a slump.
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They've not technically entered the U.S. For all intents and purposes, we could have turned around a...
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They would have been caught one way or another.
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The significance of this one I can say with confidence is an entire organization was shut down.
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Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock.
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America's health care system is neither healthy, caring, nor a system.
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I look forward to making tangible and inspirational contributions to the Houston Technology Center&#...
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Every passion borders on the chaotic, but the collector's passion borders on the chaos of memori...
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All human knowledge takes the form of interpretation.
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I can never believe how much time and energy and money and talent and everything else is being poure...
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There are some things that I write that I know are personal in a way, or the gag is so obscure that ...
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We have been fortunate enough to do something that has always been out of the mainstream and yet hav...
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All our wives are experimental psychologists.
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If there's a strange way to do something, I would certainly like to know about it. I feel that I...
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I always look for the weirdest note to land on. I felt that that was the least I could do for the gr...
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From a linguistic point of view, you can't really take much objection to the notion that a show ...
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That's sort of what we wanted to do: conquer from the margins, sort of find our place in the mid...
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You have a kid, and it's like, 'He's gotta go to college! Gotta have some clothes!'
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'8 Miles to Pancake Day' is a reconciliation of the classic space-time dilemma.
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It seemed like the more complex the music we were playing, the less able we were to guarantee its co...
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There was a film called 'FM,' and we were asked to do the title song. And I said, 'Does ...
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'Deacon Blues' was special for me. It's the only time I remember mixing a record all day...
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The protagonist in 'Deacon Blues' is a triple-L loser - an L-L-L Loser. It's not so much...
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There's a great freedom in writing by yourself. You can write anything you want.
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I spent a couple of years not doing any music or anything, just here in Hawaii trying to get healthy...
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I'm not interested in a rock/jazz fusion.
WALTER BECKER
It's great fun to play with a really good band.
WALTER BECKER
People are really exercised about one particular thing, and that is themselves. They will bore you e...
WALTER BECKER
Rock music is being systematically merged with fashion.
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Cynicism, I contend, is the wailing of someone who believes that things are, or should be, or could ...
WALTER BECKER
When you start to work with someone, there's a negotiation that takes place involving what's...
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My primary influences were the best jazz players from the 50's and 60's and later some of th...
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I listen to a mixture of old jazz, contemporary, pop, some world beat stuff and various odds and end...
WALTER BECKER
I'm a self-taught musician aside from what I've been able to pick up from other players.
WALTER BECKER
Honor sinks where commerce long prevails.
WALTER BAGEHOT
You may talk of the tyranny of Nero and Tiberius; but the real tyranny is the tyranny of your next-d...
WALTER BAGEHOT
An influential member of parliament has not only to pay much money to become such, and to give time ...
WALTER BAGEHOT
No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist...
WALTER BAGEHOT
The being without an opinion is so painful to human nature that most people will leap to a hasty opi...
WALTER BAGEHOT
No great work has ever been produced except after a long interval of still and musing meditation.
WALTER BAGEHOT
Public opinion is a permeating influence, and it exacts obedience to itself; it requires us to drink...
WALTER BAGEHOT
The habit of common and continuous speech is a symptom of mental deficiency. It proceeds from not kn...
WALTER BAGEHOT
All the best stories in the world are but one story in reality - the story of escape. It is the only...
WALTER BAGEHOT
Life is a school of probability.
WALTER BAGEHOT
It is unsound for an independent editor to be a financial contributor to any cause which would cause...
WALTER ANNENBERG
I have very little respect for Nancy Reagan. There is something about her that is very petty.
WALTER ANNENBERG
I cannot compromise or inhibit my independence.
WALTER ANNENBERG
Your Majesty, I took the liberty because I was so desirous of visiting alone with you for a few minu...
WALTER ANNENBERG
God grant you the strength to fight off the temptations of surrender.
WALTER ANNENBERG
You will not be satisfied unless you are contributing something to or for the benefit of others.
WALTER ANNENBERG
What matters is that you are doing what you think is right based on the standards which you hold.
WALTER ANNENBERG
The greatest happiness comes from being vitally interested in something that excites all your energi...
WALTER ANNENBERG
Live rich, die poor; never make the mistake of doing it the other way round.
WALTER ANNENBERG
I shall participate, I shall contribute, and in so doing, I will be the gainer.
WALTER ANNENBERG
Adversity tests us from time to time and it is inevitable that this testing continues during life.
WALTER ANNENBERG
Accomplish something every day of your life.
WALTER ANNENBERG
People who think about art as an investment are pathetic.
WALTER ANNENBERG
The test of character is having the ability to meet challenges.
WALTER ANNENBERG
In the world today, a young lady who does not have a college education just is not educated.
WALTER ANNENBERG
Never buy four C-plus paintings when you can buy one A.
WALTER ANNENBERG
My country has been very good to me; I must be good to my country.
WALTER ANNENBERG
Some people find an interest in making money, and though they appear to be slaving, many actually en...
WALTER ANNENBERG
Many activities and team play participation will give you a training that will prove invaluable late...
WALTER ANNENBERG
Too much work, too much vacation, too much of any one thing is unsound.
WALTER ANNENBERG
The greatest power is not money power, but political power.
WALTER ANNENBERG
I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible f...
WALTER ANDERSON
Good listeners, like precious gems, are to be treasured.
WALTER ANDERSON
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, ne...
WALTER ANDERSON
I'm not afraid to learn from my coaches.
WALTER ALSTON
I put myself through college playing pool.
WALTER ALSTON
I always liked Casey Stengel as a manager because he seemed to have a grasp of so many things.
WALTER ALSTON
The toughest thing about managing is knowing your personnel and what it can give you under all condi...
WALTER ALSTON
I do worry about tomorrow's game, but never about next year's job.
WALTER ALSTON
I've won plenty of games by knowing when to take out my pitcher; whom to replace him with; or ho...
WALTER ALSTON
I think for being not unsympathetic that their appearance may also appear, so differently it, must; ...
ULRICH WALTER
Every astronaut flew into space for a living. But while NASA has not solved the security problems, I...
ULRICH WALTER
Judgment comes from experience - and experience comes from bad judgment.
WALTER WRISTON
What I would like to be remembered for is that Walter Washington changed the spirit of the people of...
WALTER WASHINGTON
Mine has been a concern for the people, a concern to maintain stability, a concern to get people wor...
WALTER WASHINGTON
I passed the Bar on the first shot, But I have never practiced law.
WALTER WAGER
I always liked spy stories.
WALTER WAGER
I use the city because it saves time, I don't have to do a lot of research on the setting.
WALTER WAGER
In France, I learned about wine and cheese.
WALTER WAGER
I keep working under the delusion that someday a library will ask for my manuscripts.
WALTER WAGER
The government of the German Democratic Republic rejects secret policies. It works for the people, a...
WALTER ULBRICHT
May we soon enjoy the fruits of our labor in a peaceful and united Germany.
WALTER ULBRICHT
The nature of a democracy consists to an important degree in the right of the people to criticize pr...
WALTER ULBRICHT
The more you participate in our common endeavors, the more successful your work in the factory, mine...
WALTER ULBRICHT
The West German population would protest passionately if it knew what secret meetings between the fe...
WALTER ULBRICHT
When has there ever been a government in German history that came to the people and revealed its det...
WALTER ULBRICHT
The plan shows that the twenty million people in the German democratic Republic and in the democrati...
WALTER ULBRICHT
In the past, people worked together only when some great disaster threatened.
WALTER ULBRICHT
The success of each of us benefits us all, and the success of us all benefits each of us individuall...
WALTER ULBRICHT
Something new has happened: For the first time in German history our fatherland is guided by a plan ...
WALTER ULBRICHT
The guiding principle is not to manufacture the goods everyone needs, rather to earn profits for a f...
WALTER ULBRICHT
The victory of the working people over the exploiters and slave holders is at the same time the vict...
WALTER ULBRICHT
Let us show our fellow countrymen and the entire world what the Germans can do when they work for pe...
WALTER ULBRICHT
This hunger for profits causes great misery for the people.
WALTER ULBRICHT
It is the most important contribution we can make to speeding up reunification.
WALTER ULBRICHT
Let there be great enthusiasm for the plan throughout the entire republic that will overcome all obs...
WALTER ULBRICHT
Gifts fall from heaven only in fairy tales.
WALTER ULBRICHT
The Old Firm clubs are not easy clubs to manage and sometimes I think frustration comes in that, in ...
WALTER SMITH
There are people for whom Rangers Football Club is their entire way of life.
WALTER SMITH
From my own point of view, I hope everybody would realise that people who work in Scottish football ...
WALTER SMITH
Paper and ink are all but trash, if I cannot find the thought which the writer did think.
WALTER SMITH
I started out in Scotland, not as a footballer of any note, and I didn't play to draw the attent...
WALTER SMITH
If you can achieve winning a league championship, that, to me, is the full test of the team and mana...
WALTER SMITH
Whether people like it or not, you have to say the Old Firm are a major part of Scottish football. I...
WALTER SMITH
Our works decay and disappear but God gentlest works stay looking down on the ruins we toil to rear.
WALTER SMITH
The race of mankind would perish did they cease to aid each other. We cannot exist without mutual he...
WALTER SCOTT
He is the best sailor who can steer within fewest points of the wind, and exact a motive power out o...
WALTER SCOTT
A rusty nail placed near a faithful compass, will sway it from the truth, and wreck the argosy.
WALTER SCOTT
Teach your children poetry; it opens the mind, lends grace to wisdom and makes the heroic virtues he...
WALTER SCOTT
Faces that have charmed us the most escape us the soonest.
WALTER SCOTT
Success - keeping your mind awake and your desire asleep.
WALTER SCOTT
When thinking about companions gone, we feel ourselves doubly alone.
WALTER SCOTT
One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action, and filled with noble risks, is worth wh...
WALTER SCOTT
Love rules the court, the camp, the grove, And men below, and saints above: For love is heaven, and ...
WALTER SCOTT
Discretion is the perfection of reason, and a guide to us in all the duties of life.
WALTER SCOTT
Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.
WALTER SCOTT
To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.
WALTER SCOTT
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
WALTER SCOTT
A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic, a mere working mason; if he possesses some kno...
WALTER SCOTT
Success or failure in business is caused more by the mental attitude even than by mental capacities.
WALTER SCOTT
We build statues out of snow, and weep to see them melt.
WALTER SCOTT
Look back, and smile on perils past.
WALTER SCOTT
When I come to London, I always like to see what's playing at the NFT.
WALTER SALLES
We all knew the book well because it's the cult book in Latin America. For me, this was a sacred...
WALTER SALLES
The Sundance Institute has been vital to the film communities of Latin America.
WALTER SALLES