The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.

Just like gambling is over at the Sun-Times. ... Every time I read the Sun-Times, they've got the gambling [odds.] How much the [point spreads] are. Who's gonna win this game. I guess that's gambling. But they can print it. And you've got the racing results in it. Right? You've got the points. So, aren't you gambling?

If these gambling websites lose a time window for betting, they are done. That makes it easier for attackers to hit the sites at the worst possible moment.