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The new movie I'm working on right now is very autobiographical. It's about a television actor who drinks too much and gets blackballed from the industry, and then he decides to break back in by directing his own movie,


Andy Dick

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ANDY DICK Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you&#...
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ANDY DICK I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I...
ANDY DICK It felt good because they've murdered us for the last two years.
ANDY DICK The best advice he ever gave me was to keep it real, keep it simple, ... He was a big believer in no...
ANDY DICK Maybe it's just because it's so damn cold there, ... You find humor in everything, 'cause the climat...
ANDY DICK I don't even remember what I did in that movie, because I did it so long ago, ... I think I'm a craz...
ANDY DICK I'm really ultra-affected by things... I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and off...
ANDY DICK Now I try to make efforts, you know, I'm just, the best effort I can do is just stay sober myself. I...
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ANDY DICK I don't like my body, it's oddly-proportioned. I'd like to be, like, dumpy.
ANDY DICK I was a bad boy as a child.
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ANDY DICK I say, 'I'm bi, my love knows no gender,' and the straight community says, 'Oh right...
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ANDY DICK The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else.
ANDY DICK I do a lot of research,
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ANDY DICK An artificial field would be a godsend to some schools.
ANDY DICK People love to hate. I have a love-hate relationship with the world. The world loves to hate me.
ANDY DICK In the front of the boat, you look at it as you have basically two things you have to do,
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ANDY DICK Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was menta...
ANDY DICK You're paired with a pro, but it's two different divisions, ... There's a pro division and an amateu...
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ANDY DICK I wish over the years I had kept my private life private and my professional life a little more prof...
ANDY DICK It's being edited as we speak. I think it might come out in the winter,
ANDY DICK I grew up Presbyterian, just a basic Protestant upbringing. There were years in my life when I would...
ANDY DICK I know it's corny, but laughter is a two-way gift, and hearing people laugh just warms me throug...
ANDY DICK In terms of being vulgar, I don't think you need to be violent unless it's slapstick, violen...
ANDY DICK Anybody who thinks that getting a communication from a voter in your district is spam - that guy is ...
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DICK CAVETT Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
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DICK SMOTHERS We learned a verse of this and that and we were having fun with the songs. Tommy would make up stori...
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DICK SMOTHERS Folk music was out there. Clubs were springing up and they were hot with the college kids.
DICK SMOTHERS If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd h...
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DICK MORRIS The British Government and the Irish Government have accepted very clearly the Mitchell Report.
DICK SPRING Well, I'm using a cane, so what? So what if they shot me sitting in a wheelchair? That's lif...
DICK CLARK It's real good to be back with you again this year.
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DICK CLARK The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never fe...
DICK CAVETT You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it ...
DICK GREGORY My healthcare plan puts more money into average families' pockets than the Bush tax cuts... He&#...
DICK GEPHARDT My son now is 22 months old, he's been playing since he was 12 months old and he gets standing o...
DICK DALE These are men and women who are willing to risk their lives in defense of their country. And the fac...
DICK DURBIN The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - i...
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DICK SCHAAP We all join the President in applauding the sacrifices made by our brave men and women in uniform. B...
DICK DURBIN Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.
DICK FRANCIS If you don't invest very much, then defeat doesn't hurt very much and winning is not very exciting.
DICK VERMEIL Losing is a part of winning.
DICK MUNRO Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
DICK CLARK I don't set trends. I just find out what they are and exploit them.
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DICK GREGORY You cannot go ahead while you are getting even.
DICK ARMEY Politics will sooner or later make fools of everybody.
DICK ARMEY When you're a lawyer, you expect your client to lie to you, but not when he is the president.
DICK HOUSER It is a rare person who wants to hear want he doesn't want to hear.
DICK CAVETT To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
DICK CAVETT And we love to dance -- especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you...
DICK GREGORY Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY If I was smart enough to be a doctor, I'd be a doctor. I ain't, so I'm a football player.
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DICK BUTKUS I want to be recognized as the best-no doubt about it. When they say all-pro middle linebacker, I wa...
DICK BUTKUS Few people get to earn a living at what they like to do and there are hazards in any profession. Foo...
DICK BUTKUS I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important
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DICK MARTIN You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.
DICK ARMEY I wouldn't mind paying taxes -- if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY Detective Jeremy Fisk of the NYPD Intelligence Division hated upstate New York. Hated the whole idea...
DICK WOLF I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be ...
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DICK CLARK Also, I am driven by a wonderful muse called alimony.
DICK SCHAAP My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.
DICK CAVETT I almost had to have my leg amputated because of an infection.
DICK DALE Guitar Player Magazine says Dick Dale is the father of Heavy Metal, blowing up 48 amplifiers, creati...
DICK DALE When I first played the guitar without plugging it into an amplifier, the people at Fender were blow...
DICK DALE Immigration reform is a must, an amnesty. So that's my position. I've been pushing that one ...
DICK MOUNTJOY The Democratic Party opposes tax cuts but it cannot say so publicly. Thus, it is forced to support t...
DICK MORRIS One of the things that amazes me about Twitter is the way it utterly eradicates artificial barriers ...
DICK COSTOLO 'Yes' is a far more potent word than 'no' in American politics. By adopting the posi...
DICK MORRIS We're going to have a tax cut. Today's American family is overtaxed at all levels.
DICK ARMEY No, I've always been impressed with the tremendous resilience of the American economy. I think o...
DICK CHENEY If U.S. national sovereignty continues, it is only as a state that Puerto Rico will have permanent 1...
DICK THORNBURGH In 1988, as an unknown candidate, totally unknown, I won Iowa, came in second in New Hampshire, won ...
DICK GEPHARDT I think my mistakes were kind of common - leaning on cliches and adjectives in the place of clear, v...
DICK SCHAAP Cliches and adjectives permeated my prose.
DICK SCHAAP Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that Afric...
DICK GREGORY There's a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around...
DICK DALE Unfortunately the Republican tax cut will deny important revenues to many states facing their own de...
DICK DURBIN No candidate can win a presidential race advocating gay marriage and opposing the military action in...
DICK MORRIS I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after d...
DICK GREGORY It's kind of ironic that the two sports with the greatest characters, boxing and horse racing, h...
DICK SCHAAP You can't fall back on the private sector and say, 'You take care of the nation's bankin...
DICK CHENEY Do freshman philosophy classes nowadays debate updated versions of the age-old questions? Like, how ...
DICK CAVETT People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you...
DICK GREGORY Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little bette...
DICK CAVETT The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that require...
DICK CHENEY The good Lord didn't see fit to put oil and gas only where there are democratically elected regi...
DICK CHENEY If you're going to go increase taxes on small businesses, you're going to slow down the exte...
DICK CHENEY Conservation may be a sign of personal virtue, but it is not a sufficient basis for a sound, compreh...
DICK CHENEY I think we need to significantly reduce the regulatory burden on the private sector. The Obama admin...
DICK CHENEY Except for the occasional heart attack, I never felt better.
DICK CHENEY It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.
DICK CHENEY When George Bush asked me to sign on, it obviously wasn't because he was worried about carrying ...
DICK CHENEY I was convinced that eventually I would die of heart disease, that we'd run out of time and out ...
DICK CHENEY There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. At that point, a gatheri...
DICK CHENEY Direct threats require decisive action.
DICK CHENEY The relevance for 9/11 is that what 9/11 marked was the beginning of a struggle in which the terrori...
DICK CHENEY I think the key that happened on 9/11 is we went from considering terrorist attacks as a law enforce...
DICK CHENEY I am a deficit hawk.
DICK CHENEY We've gotten a long way on missile defense. We know how to do it. We know how to take down incom...
DICK CHENEY I worked for George Bush. I'm proud to have worked for him. I think that a lot of the most contr...
DICK CHENEY I've been extraordinarily fortunate that I've been able to go live a very active, stressful ...
DICK CHENEY You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who k...
DICK GREGORY There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
DICK GREGORY From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being s...
DICK CHENEY It is unacceptable that disabled veterans in Illinois rank at the bottom of the list when it comes t...
DICK DURBIN I kept having chills. This was in the middle of the summer and I was wearing a sheepskin jacket and ...
DICK YORK Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about co...
DICK GREGORY I was raised in a working class family of Baptist faith, and I went to college on a church scholarsh...
DICK GEPHARDT For 20 years I've been screaming at these guitar companies, saying, 'It's abnormal to pu...
DICK DALE There was a casting couch in his office. His office was all in white. Behind the desk were his Oscar...
BERNARD DICK It's a resource for our students in our film courses. And when we do these series for the community,...
BERNARD DICK We have a very fine resource here.
BERNARD DICK I wanted a mix of 'B' films and first-class films, because I don't look down my nose at 'B' films. W...
BERNARD DICK I don't know how many colleges would have a [film] collection of one particular studio.
BERNARD DICK I went over his notes to 'All the King's Men,' and he sounds like a college professor, talking about...
BERNARD DICK Gene Krupa was my big hero, and I used to play on my mother's flour cans and sugar cans with the...
DICK DALE We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the ...
DICK GREGORY Sugar Ray Robinson was at the top of the boxing world during the 1950's when it seemed that he w...
DICK SCHAAP When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down ...
DICK GREGORY Depression - it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven't been i...
DICK CAVETT I wanted to be a sportswriter because I loved sports and I could not hit the curve ball, the jump sh...
DICK SCHAAP We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a g...
DICK GREGORY I did not choose necessarily on the basis of significance. If you have a vote for the most significa...
DICK SCHAAP Internal self-government under a local constitution was authorized by Congress and approved by the r...
DICK THORNBURGH Why would we want to keep a tax cut that's failed? Why would we not want to go back to the Clint...
DICK GEPHARDT I filed a brief as a friend of the court in the U. of Michigan to keep affirmative action at the U. ...
DICK GEPHARDT It's not just Bin Laden or just those that are involved in the counterterrorism effort. We'v...
DICK CHENEY In terms of asking questions, I plead guilty. I ask a hell of a lot of questions. That's my job.
DICK CHENEY I'm not apologetic with respect to the policies of the Bush administration. I think we basically...
DICK CHENEY New York is great, but the New England fans are probably the most knowledgeable and ardent fans, and...
DICK WILLIAMS If there's ever an example of the importance of making bold bets and focusing on what you love, ...
DICK COSTOLO I was raised not to be rude, but I also try to get the best work out of people.
DICK WOLF Hendrix was the bass player for Little Richard. We were both left-handed, but we would use a right-h...
DICK DALE My mother used to say, 'You gotta exercise.' She would really pound on me to exercise every ...
DICK GEPHARDT I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, ...
DICK GREGORY It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer's life that I met him, and a sort of water-treadin...
DICK CAVETT Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the ear...
DICK CAVETT The Iraq War marked the beginning of the end of network news coverage. Viewers saw the juxtaposition...
DICK MORRIS I do find that the mainstream media oftentimes is what I would consider off base or has a bias.
DICK CHENEY I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because th...
DICK GREGORY I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinenc...
DICK CAVETT Now a great debate has been born. The thesis is Democratic Socialism. The antithesis is free-market ...
DICK MORRIS I adapted an antiquated style and modernized it to something that was efficient. I didn't know a...
DICK FOSBURY We were trying to get all of the planes down out of the sky. And we watched as the towers of the Wor...
DICK CHENEY I wake up every morning literally with a smile on my face, grateful for another day I never thought ...
DICK CHENEY I think it's become the premier all-star game in the state. It's still during the school years so mo...
BRUCE DICK I've never had a group of seniors like this. I can't even describe how proud I am of them.
BRUCE DICK You eliminate 16 teams; a lot of good ones are going to show up.
BRUCE DICK A lot of the savings dollars rest in the mainstream banks but I don't think the consumer has got the...
BRUCE DICK These guys, they don't care who scores. That's what makes them so balanced.
BRUCE DICK It wasn't just a three-game for him. He's a great three-point shooter, and he's just starting to add...
BRUCE DICK I though we played well at times. It was a tight game between two good teams. It was an overtime gam...
BRUCE DICK Sometimes nationalism can be jingoistic - even fascistic - but it can also be a constructive impetus...
DICK MORRIS Reagan proved deficits don't matter.
DICK CHENEY I find most 'sacred music' pretty dismal.
DICK CAVETT Their argument is that most shows are losers, which is true, but it's also disingenuous to say, ...
DICK WOLF When I was a kid in Nebraska, a cantankerous farmer, known for plinking with his '22 at passing ...
DICK CAVETT Fortunately, I was supposed to look confused and disoriented because, God, I felt that way.
DICK YORK I think on balance, Don King has been bad for boxing. I think he's done some very good things an...
DICK SCHAAP There were times when I'd bench players for their lack of effort. We worked very hard on fundame...
DICK WILLIAMS Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the people who handle it ...
DICK CAVETT Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows...
DICK CAVETT Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.
DICK CAVETT If we do nothing, as the Republicans suggest, we're going to see health care costs reach a point...
DICK DURBIN I was seeing everything through pain. I would roll out of bed and do my exercises. I had to do that ...
DICK YORK I lay in my dressing room after being in make-up waiting to go on. They knew I was feeling pretty ro...
DICK YORK In the main, ghosts are said to be forlorn and generally miserable, if not downright depressed. The ...
DICK CAVETT As Bob Dole found out, you can't keep a positive image while being your party's mouthpiece i...
DICK MORRIS There was a three hour differential in performances because the sponsor insisted it be done live for...
DICK YORK It's a huge step forward, and it's going to make it easier for all city employees because they are g...
DICK ATKINS It's actually going to be the hassle of your life and the hassle of your family's life and you may n...
DICK ATKINS There is a double-standard. And quite often if you're from Africa, if you're from a developing count...
DICK ATKINS In most countries, if you have drugs in your possession, in your suitcase or on you, the fact that y...
DICK ATKINS Alan was selected after a comprehensive search and review process. Our paths have crossed frequently...
DICK ASKIN This new voting initiative hits the issue of a narrow nominations' process head-on and significantly...
DICK ASKIN American Idol Rewind combines all of the characteristics of elite off-network weekend successes, inc...
DICK ASKIN We are always concerned about same-old, same-old.
DICK ASKIN