The muffled thunder of dialogue comes through the walls, then a chorus of laughter. Then more thunder. Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.
Chuck Palahniuk
Related I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, wi... THE BOOK OF THE DEAD Life is short, and that's why, I don't test people; because we all fail tests sometimes, but that is... C. JOYBELL C. She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. DIANA WYNNE JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven princeling in! If it wer... J.R.R. TOLKIEN You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES Life begins somewhere and ends somewhere with time but to get somewhere with the life you have depen... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ... ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker. ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes. ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment. ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.' ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha... ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person. ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me... ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au... ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about. ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media. ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive. ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ... ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken. ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows. ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real... ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha... ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don... ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one. ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs. KING JAMES I My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them... MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina... WALLIS SIMPSON PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea... WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w... WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave. WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me. WALLIS SIMPSON A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe... WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain. WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance. WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers. WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat. WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting. WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin. WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. KING SOLOMON It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most... FREDERICK THE GREAT Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All... KATE MIDDLETON There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all. MARIE ANTOINETTE I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It... QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman. KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse. CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister. KATE MIDDLETON It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;... MARIE ANTOINETTE I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble. AUGUSTUS A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in. FREDERICK THE GREAT Nothing is more useless in developing a nation's economy than a gun, and nothing blocks the road... HUSSEIN OF JORDAN
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CHUCK PALAHNIUK My best advice for writers is: Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a book, you're guaranteed the audience has a certain skill level and that the audience has ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibili... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. CHUCK PALAHNIUK We're making the same mistakes we made 1,000 years ago. So they must be the right ones. So relax... CHUCK PALAHNIUK What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like gr... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My first four books, from 'Fight Club' to 'Choke,' dealt with personal identity issu... CHUCK PALAHNIUK In 2008, while the film version of my book 'Choke' was coming to market, my mother was diagn... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really we... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about tha... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Maybe it's better just living the way you figure life is when you're a kid. Before you get too smart... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Real smart begins when you quit quoting other people. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You hear the best stories from ordinary people. That sense of immediacy is more real to me than a lo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their dis... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Beginning with Santa Claus as a cognitive exercise, a child is encouraged to share the same idea of ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I say let me never be complete, I say may I never be content,I say deliver me from Swedish furniture... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You have to give up! you have to give up! You have to realize that someday you will die, U... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Big Brother fills us all with the same crap. My guess is he was clever the same way everybody thinks... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I feel my heart ache, but I've forgotten what that feeling means. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will f--- you up, every time. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find good in what the world says is evil. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Make me into anything, but just love me. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Give me lust, baby. Flash. Give me malice. Flash. Give me detached existentialis... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's all mirror, mirror on the wall because beauty is power the same way money is power the same way... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I thought we were a real love relationship. I did. I was very invested in love, but it was just this... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Fuck me. I'm so tired of being me. Me beautiful. Me ugly. Blonde. Brunette. A million fucking fashio... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Most times, it's just a lot easier not to let the world know what's wrong. CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed fee... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I think a lot of people saw 'Fight Club' and thought, 'Right, here's our next Che Gu... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My father worked for the railroad, and whenever a train crashed, we would go as a family and steal f... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We live and we die and anything else is just a delusion. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it mi... CHUCK PALAHNIUK People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Personal identity seems like it's just such an American archetype, from Holly Golightly re-inven... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Every decade, we get a stunning collection of dynamic, heartbreaking short stories. In the past, tho... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Horror stories give us a way of exhausting our emotions around social issues, like a woman's rig... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. CHUCK PALAHNIUK HELLO! Look at me. HELLO! I am so ZEN. This is BLOOD. This is NOTHING. Hello. Everything is nothing,... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels. CHUCK PALAHNIUK What I did was pour out about a gallon of Chanel Number Five and put a burning wedding invitation to... CHUCK PALAHNIUK If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot? CHUCK PALAHNIUK Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Find out what you're afraid of and go live there. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The idea that population growth guarantees a better life - financially or otherwise - is a myth that... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustr... CHUCK PALAHNIUK 'At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom' by Amy Hempel showed me the lean quality of prose. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Someday you will die, and until you know that, you're useless to me. CHUCK PALAHNIUK She's not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you knew that your life was merely a phase or short, short segment of your entire existence, how ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Language, she said, was just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstru... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow peop... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a boo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK My personal theory is that younger audiences disdain books - not because those readers are dumber th... CHUCK PALAHNIUK He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover. CHUCK PALAHNIUK My secret wish is right now to be romancing this dead girl. A dead girl. Any dead girl. I'm not what... CHUCK PALAHNIUK One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they'r... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet the... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. CHUCK PALAHNIUK I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next t... CHUCK PALAHNIUK In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then peop... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you used to own, now they own you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it se... CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood ed... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justifie... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hysteria is only possible with an audience. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have ... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things th... CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vo... CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you own end up owning you. CHUCK PALAHNIUK No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. CHUCK PALAHNIUK We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depre... CHUCK PALAHNIUK We just had a near-life experience! CHUCK PALAHNIUK This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you thei... CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? CHUCK PALAHNIUK Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough. CHUCK PALAHNIUK A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfec... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Masochism is a valuable job skill. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left. CHUCK PALAHNIUK Which is worse: Hell or nothing? CHUCK PALAHNIUK People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distrac... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sof... CHUCK PALAHNIUK Real discoveries come from chaos. CHUCK PALAHNIUK The future is just wasted on some people. CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know. CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you dont know what you want, you end up with a lot you dont CHUCK PALAHNIUK Theres always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story CHUCK PALAHNIUK Us. God's forgotten Science Fair project, left to grow mold. God's goldfish, ignored until we're for... CHUCK PALAHNIUK As if you cut open a rag doll with a sill name, and found inside:Real intestines, real lungs, a beat... CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not special. Your are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic... CHUCK PALAHNIUK I tell everybody, i'm tired of being jerked around, okay? so lets just not pretend. i don't have fuc... CHUCK PALAHNIUK