The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle -- yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.
Mark Twain
Related The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit... MARK TWAIN The fear of God is the only cure for the fear of people. CRAIG GROESCHEL There is no greater glory than to die for love. GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nasti... GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ She would defend herself, saying that love, no matter what else it might be, was a natural talent. S... GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ From all the chaos, confusion, disorder, turmoil and pandemonium around her where things are in tota... LATIKA TEOTIA From the Kindle Book Reflections in the Mirror of Life: “In a slum somewhere in India As... THE PROPHET OF LIFE The battle is not physical, it is spiritual and your mind is the battleground. Keep your mind pure a... JEANETTE CORON Life begins somewhere and ends somewhere with time but to get somewhere with the life you have depen... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Without God there could be no American form of government nor an American way of life. Recognition o... DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER Nicolas Cage is the best for taking the role of character Joker. He is pretty damn good at jokes! DEYTH BANGER (All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes... JEAN SASSON There was a house at the foot of the tower, close to the thunder of the waves breaking against the c... GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ She is unquestionably an intelligent person and a competent lawyer. But she's had very little experi... CASS SUNSTEIN His view of the world was simple: there were the able and there were the incompetent; he was not con... AYN RAND As any competent student of literary composition knows, the more natural and casual a voice sounds i... ALBERT MURRAY Never doubt God in the darkness what he has given us in the light. FRANCINE RIVERS Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. This is too much reality for a Friday. AS GOOD AS IT GETS We can leave a place behind, or we can stay in that place and leave our selfishness (often expressed... JOHN H. GROBERG Nature’s law is such that it metes out its justice to everyone as they deserve by giving each pers... ANUJ SOMANY Every living being, from ants to whales, has a right to live and die in accordance with the law of t... CHANDRABABU V.S. Any change one effect on his natural being with a purpose would definitely end up revealing his hypo... CHANDRABABU V.S. May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Horror as for me is the best choice, you can gain a lot of. I like to be afraid like to see this shi... DEYTH BANGER June will mark the 25th anniversary of HIV in this country. It is still a tragedy to me that every d... LARRY KESSLER Every few weeks she would shut herself up in her room, put on her scribbling suit, and fall into a v... LOUISA MAY ALCOTT We all are wearing many hundred glasses of different colors. Therefore, everyone sees the world in d... MUDITHA CHAMPIKA It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in lo... J.D. SALINGER The king may rule the kingdom, but it's the queen who moves the board. D.M. TIMNEY The more God is glorified the more man is energic and the more satan is weak. INDONESIA123 In Hong Kong, I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “Love in the Time of Cholera”, in which the hero... GRAEME SIMSION I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO Clay in the hands of a good potter suffers so many good turns, but in the end, we see its real and t... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Be nobel. Be the light as if you are the source of life. DEBASISH MRIDHA The candle is the light of life that is constantly thriving to hang on and light up the darkness of ... ENOCK MAREGESI The worst of failure of this kind is that it spoils the market for more competent performers. JAMES AGATE The struggle is part of your story but Everything will be in place in the right situation at a perfe... NAPZ CHERUB PELLAZO We all are wearing many hundred glasses of different colors. So, everyone see the world in different... MUDITHA CHAMPIKA It is sound judgment to hope that in the not too distant future we shall be competent to understand ... ARTHUR EDDINGTON Today is about the now, the moment you live in, so do now what you want to do SOTONYE ANGA A married woman has the same natural right to acquire and hold property, and to make all contracts t... LYSANDER SPOONER Be encouraged. Hold your head up high and know God is in control and has a plan for you. Instead of ... GERMANY KENT The goal in life is not to try and live forever, but to create something that will forever in people... KARON WADDELL Mindfulness is observing the beauty of every moment unfolding before us. AMIT RAY Some revelations have been reserved for the last days for God to accomplish His original plan. PST ADELAJA SUNDAY In a world in which the common rule which binds and regulates what the general masses feel is underm... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH The mark of a real man, is a man who can allow himself to fall deeply in love with a woman. But the ... C. JOYBELL C. Every woman should marry for her own advantage since her husband will represent her, as visible as h... PHILIPPA GREGORY don’t say you’se ole. You’se uh lil girl baby all de time. God made it so you spent yo’ ole ... ZORA NEALE HURSTON For starters, that’s a rather simple principle of Time Travel right there – and according to the... CHRISTINA ENGELA No one should let yesterday use up too much of today. Easy to say, hard to live. ANDREA HAIRSTON Wake up to a brand new day and realize why you woke up to meet the day! Live to the end of another d... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Time is so important.'so spend time doing something that you love.' make the most of it and Let the ... NAPZ CHERUB PELLAZO There is no other time in a woman's life when she needs to be quite as smart as when she is looking ... KATHERINE ELLISON Always Be Ready For Anything that Comes: Bananas, Chips, College, an Opportunity, so when it does yo... DANIEL OJEDA The secret of my success is my hairspray. RICHARD GERE Love is blind, and a deaf-mute too. PATRICK ROTHFUSS He wept because he was afraid now that he could not save Gabriel. He no longer cared about himself LOIS LOWRY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES The search for better, for more competent men, from the presidents of our great companies down to ou... FREDERICK WINSLOW TAYLOR The things i know now, i never knew then. I wish i knew. SOTONYE ANGA It is critical that the newly elected leaders of Iraq do their part by forming a government of natio... ZALMAY KHALILZAD I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary. BILLY JOEL After mature deliberation of counsel, the good Queen to establish a rule and immutable example unto ... MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE Jamestown with her wild train she as freely frequented, as her fathers habitation; and during the ti... JOHN SMITH God has the capacity to look at the world through two lenses. When God looks at a painful or wicked ... JOHN PIPER You cannot threaten a mad man with madness SOTONYE ANGA Every time I'm shooting a movie I want to kill myself. Because I don't see the light in the ... EMIR KUSTURICA There is no longer a doubt that women are just as competent as men. Gender differences are guided by... NAVEEN JAIN Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play. J.R. RIM She was intimidating and all I could do was sit back on the couch as she paced back and forth, slowl... IN THE MAKING God is not impressed with what PRECEDES your name, but how you PROCEED in His Name." BJ NELSON The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you r... MANDY HALE You've never really trusted him, though you don't understand why. Something about the fact that he's... N.K. JEMISIN When she was younger, she felt that he wanted to know everything about her, but she was sometimes af... MICHAEL STEIN But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel. MARK TWAIN I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life... CHARLES BUKOWSKI Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters. JEFFREY FRY In the world as it is, torn with agonies and dissensions, we need some direction for our souls which... CARYLL HOUSELANDER With the Lucio Tan group gaining sole control of PNB, it is unlikely that there will be any change i... LUCIO TAN She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. DIANA WYNNE JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN An intelligent woman is a goldmine! She has the ability to learn, reason and understand things bette... JAACHYNMA N.E. AGU I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary... BILLY JOEL What must it be like for a woman to live with power over men rivaled only by God for the first third... TYLER KNIGHT The woman is a reflection of her man's love. A well-loved woman sees the world through the lenses of... ALEXANDRA PINTO Please be SILENT and LISTEN. I am the SCHOOLMASTER and you are in the CLASSROOM. Just... PSEUDONYMOUS BOSCH ...on her deathbed... I tell her she is as good a soul as I have ever met or hope to meet, that she ... DEAN KOONTZ I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'l... C.S. LEWIS It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if... MAYA ANGELOU The heart is deceitful and wicked in everyone; the Holy Spirit changes even the most wretched sinner... NORM TOMLINSON The heart of the gospel is redemption, and the essence of redemption is the substitutionary sacrific... NORM TOMLINSON I'm a coward when it comes to matters of the heart. That is my fatal flaw. HARUKI MURAKAMI You should believe in prayers, even though there is no guarantee of success. Just like Love. SARVESH JAIN When you live in the present, the past is forgotten & the future takes care of itself. MANDY HALE Beautify your breath – beautify your life. AMIT RAY
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN