The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.

Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.