That’s no little kid. That’s Jason Steed, the biggest damn hero you will ever see!

When you're 89, dementia develops. I mean, I've told a story onstage, and I'm telling it with a full heart, and I forgot the damn punch line.

He was dirty, his hair unkempt, his clothes stained with blood. Heroes in stories somehow managed to rescue maidens while looking like court dandies. Next time he went adventuring he'd remember to bring a comb.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

I'm not much for setup... punch line. I talk about my kids. I talk about my wife.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.