Tell me, is it going in? yeah, is it hurting?..ooh yeah, ouch its hurtin ..ok i Will put it in slowly, still hurtin, oh ya ..then lets try another size shoe!

Getting oral sex from an ugly person is like bungee jumping, it's gonna be good, but holy shit, don't look down!

Some people should come with a *brains not included* sticker

if Beer was water-and i was a duck- id swim to the bottom and never come up- but Beer's not water and i am not a duck so slide me a bottle and shut the fuck up

I know that light travels faster than sound....and have concluded.. that's the reason some people seem brite until u hear them speak!!

We can LOVE someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever. It is not about owning someone,,it is not about owning a relationship,,it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone.