TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy. Moses Mendlessohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need and immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day.""Pork?" shrieked the patient --"pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!""Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked."I swear it!""Good! --then I will undertake to cure you."
Ambrose Bierce
Related I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis PHIL GRAMM It was saying, 'Eat all the beef and bacon and pork and butter and all this jazz that you want.' Peo... JIM ANDERSON Do not let the tears fool you. She lied and cheated once, she will again. Your call to continue with... TREVON CLARK I don't think man and woman should be compared, You don't compare things that complete one another. FAITH N. Those who want to hear from you will let you hear from them. TREVON CLARK He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him ea... NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that la... JON STEWART Name the fears that are holding you back. It's the equivalent of flooding the boogeyman with light. GINA GREENLEE All that the spider needs to complete its web is step taking ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I am looking for friends. What does that mean -- tame?" "It is an act too often neglected... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPéRY If it's what you do and you can do it, then you do it. VAN MORRISON Time determines the occurrence of possibilities and impossibilities, but God determines the time for... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Q... LEWIS CARROLL The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I eat very well. I cook for my family every night. We eat a variety of things, including chicken, fi... ALICIA COPPOLA I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron... YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe... YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More... HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes... HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f... HARRY YOU How to get it, I annoy you??? You are not interested??? What's the idea??? DEYTH BANGER If you can dream it, you can do it. ENZO FERRARI Always Be Ready For Anything that Comes: Bananas, Chips, College, an Opportunity, so when it does yo... DANIEL OJEDA Success is a Journey: so, don’t forget to pack your COURAGE: to face the obstacles heading your wa... PHILIP T. M. Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ... GERMANY KENT In that case" Tessa said, feeling hot blood rise to her face,"I think I would prefer it if you calle... CASSANDRA CLARE If therefore you shall be remembered for what you did with what you had more than what you had, use ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Somebody once asked,how can I Love another? The reply he got was,do you love yourself? He replied ye... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) And recite to them the news of Abraham When he said to his father and his people: What do you ... QURAN Do the thing and you will have the power. RALPH WALDO EMERSON LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences u... AMBROSE BIERCE I object to you using words like squander and pork. What is pork in one part of the country is an es... JOHN BREAUX I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork.I'm sorry, what was that last on... JON STEWART Do not share the knowledge with which you have been blessed with everyone in general, as you do with... ALI TALIB Do not share the knowledge with which you have been blessed with everyone in general, as you do with... ALI IBN ABI TALIB Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y... THEHEALTHFOODGURU We're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive. It's pretty dense kid... KURT VONNEGUT Everyone always says how I'm so smart, but they don't know what it's like being me. always feeling l... SUSANE COLASANTI It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO I do not have any other way of saying it. I think it happens but once and only to the very young whe... PAT CONROY He tells me flatly there's no mercy for me in heaven because I am
a Jew's daughter; and he says you... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all. ARSENE WENGER 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON I pleaded your cause, Sextus, having agreed to do so for two
thousand sesterces. How is it that yo... MARCUS VALERIUS MARTIAL If you think you can do it, you can. JOHN BURROUGHS It ain't bragging if you can do it. DIZZY DEAN You have what others don't have. This is good news which means you can do what others can't do! You ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Life depends on you and your choices. The real value of your life largely depends on what you do wit... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I am not a doctor trying to cure you. I'm just a fellow patient trying to introduce you to the docto... ZAKHE MAZIBUKO Sir, my circumstances,
Being so near the truth as I will make them,
Must first induce you to b... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hinder... RALPH WALDO EMERSON You release the pain of the past and press on. It's a new day, and God is doing a new thing. He want... CRAIG GROESCHEL Good Morning!" said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But G... J.R.R. TOLKIEN Besides (said he) do you not observe what a keen Edge Christian Faith puts upon the ill-nature of Di... WILLIAM STEPHENS You do mean it, then,” I said. “You feel … er … betrothed to her?” “Well, of course ... DIANA GABALDON He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. CRAIG GROESCHEL We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ... ZARA PHILLIPS
More Ambrose Bierce
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