Starving for a high, a place to hang out inside my own head. Starving for touch. Pain, even. A way to feel. I need to feel.


Ellen Hopkins

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More Ellen Hopkins

Innocence eroded into nightmare.
All because of very bad touch.
Love, corrupted.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment.
ELLEN HOPKINS
This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realize lov...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Girls get screwed.
Not that kind of screwed, what I mean is, they're always on the short end of...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Christmas is far and away my favorite holiday. I love everything about it, from the event that inspi...
ELLEN HOPKINS
For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writers' block, too...
ELLEN HOPKINS
HOW

do you define a word without concrete meaning? To each his own, the saying goes, so<...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Sometimes the little things in life mean the most.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment. I wasn't ready for that moment to end.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Pretty

That's what I am, I guess.
I mean, people have been telling
me that's wh...
ELLEN HOPKINS
And at some point I would like to talk my publisher into doing an anthology of my poetry alongside s...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Freedom is a double-edged ideal, because true freedom comes without the protection of laws that also...
ELLEN HOPKINS
It is hard to believe that something that seems so permanent was once so different. Change. I guess ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
But Hey, Guess What
Crazy means I'm not liable
for my actions. So screw it,
I'll go...
ELLEN HOPKINS
No, of course not. But surely you know your affair couldn't go on forever."
"Forever has no mea...
ELLEN HOPKINS
It was the exact opposite
for me. At first all I
wanted was sex with her,
but soon I ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
I wonder how long it would take him to realize I'm right as sin - it's the rest of the world that's ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Grown up? Me? I suppose I have. Killing things, and almost killing myself, must have changed me some...
ELLEN HOPKINS
But then, my entire life is bullshit. The best things in it have vanished, ghosts. Ghosts I'll admit...
ELLEN HOPKINS
As the old saying goes, "sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Standing Here


My entire world far beneath
my feet, I should be filled
wit...
ELLEN HOPKINS
And the thought of that makes me want to open a vein, experience pain, know I'm alive, despite this ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
....a perfect paper airplane.
ELLEN HOPKINS
The truth is, I don't have a real clue what love is - how to find it, how to give it. Once upon a ti...
ELLEN HOPKINS
TRIAD:
Three
separate highways
intersect at a place
no reasonable person
ELLEN HOPKINS
I tattered their wings and tore off their legs, joint by joint, watched them crawl in circles, like ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
I mean, if you're gonna
purposely lose your mind,
you want to get it back some
day....
ELLEN HOPKINS
Everyone's afraid of everybody else...maybe because we're all afraid of ourselves.
ELLEN HOPKINS
I'd sleep outside naked in the blizzard,for you.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Now that I have opened that bottle of memories they're pouring out like wine, crimson and bitterswee...
ELLEN HOPKINS
My happiest memories have no place in the past; they are those I have yet to create.
ELLEN HOPKINS
You believe this is a game, and you may be right. But if you think you can play it better than me, t...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness...
ELLEN HOPKINS
It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you're doing just fine, not trembling ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Memory is a tenuous thing. . . .

flickering glimpses, blue
and white, like ancient,<...
ELLEN HOPKINS
One foot in front of the other, counting tiles on the floor so I don't have to focus the blur of pai...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound.
Yearn to close ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Act
on your impulse,
swallow the bottle,
cut a little deeper,
put the gun to...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they mi...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Or might the soul clone itself,
create a perfect imitation
of something yet to be
def...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Raeanne
Mirror, Mirror

When I look into a
mirror,
it is her face I see. ELLEN HOPKINS
Without Warning:
Sometimes your traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Have you ever
had so much to say
that your mouth closed up tight
struggling to harnes...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Commitment means losing yourself to gain something temporary. Nothing lasts. Not looks. Not love.
ELLEN HOPKINS
No one teaches you how to walk away from someone who you know loves you. NO one teaches you how to s...
ELLEN HOPKINS
I locate the ladies' room. Luckily, it's empty, no one to see the vacant-eyed girl, staring in the m...
ELLEN HOPKINS
God is love," she said. "And he respects love, whether it's between a parents, and child, a man and ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
But, though I was very much in lust with him, I knew from the start we were nothing like "forever." ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
So you try to think of someone else you're mad at, and the unavoidable answer pops into your little ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Don't bother

Me with promises. Vows
are cheaply manufactured,
come with no gua...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Spilling a Secret

What its size,
will have varying
consequences. It’s not ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
People inspire me. Everyone is such an individual and has unique stories. I'm a voyeur. I eavesd...
ELLEN HOPKINS
We kissed for about
the thousandth time,
No promises,
no demands,
Just solid reb...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Tying the know means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death.
ELLEN HOPKINS
A word to the unwise.
Torch every book.
Char every page.
Burn every word to ash.
ELLEN HOPKINS
So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green....
ELLEN HOPKINS
In my limited realm of experience, beginnings led to endings.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Happiness, you see, its just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make you be...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Anger is a valid emotion. It's only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don't want...
ELLEN HOPKINS
We used to do coke, till "Just Say No" put the stuff out of reach. Now it's crank. Meth. The monster...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Taking no chances means wasting your dreams..
ELLEN HOPKINS
Forgiveness isn’t my best thing.
Easier staying pissed. But I’m
tired of being pissed ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Every high has an equal, measurable low.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Honesty.
Sobriety.
My virginity.

No way to regain
the first two, I al...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Hurt. Enough to want to make someone else hurt too.
ELLEN HOPKINS
I felt angry,
frustrated.
I felt I didn't belong, not in my,

church, not in my...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Some people
Are worthy of a bullet straight
to the heart because that is where
cruelt...
ELLEN HOPKINS
You are a gift to all who know you, whether or not they realize it. If they don't, they are blind. Y...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Me? Beautiful? I'm plain as cardboard.

That may be how you see yourself, but the rest of...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Light

That's how I feel-
like the winter-fringed
breeze might scoop
me up ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Do you ever dangle your toes over the precipice, dare the cliff to crumble, defy the frozen deity to...
ELLEN HOPKINS
A breeze blows up, touching my cheek like a little child's kiss. It flutters a piece of paper. "Tras...
ELLEN HOPKINS
in a woman's womb.
another chance.
to make the world better.
ELLEN HOPKINS
She's no longer afraid to die. What she's afraid of is living, accepting the status quo.
ELLEN HOPKINS
I wanted to meet the monster.

Why go down if you can go up?
ELLEN HOPKINS
Your hurt swallows ine, like space swallows time, and the two intertwine. We tangle together.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Detailed descriptions, abstract ambitions, relevant observations, your's and mine.
ELLEN HOPKINS
So you want to know all about me, Who
I am
What chance meeting of brush and canvas painte...
ELLEN HOPKINS
As I thought
about that, I had
to wonder: What will we
know better about tomorrow? ELLEN HOPKINS
Our meeting, touching, accidentally connecting immediately, interwoven hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Hot flush, raging bluch. Ice flash, instant crash.
ELLEN HOPKINS
It was body rush
After body rush,
intensity building.

Touch me there.
ELLEN HOPKINS
With you, I am Eve. And you are my beautiful Adam. Let's run away, find our garden, live there toget...
ELLEN HOPKINS
So you want to know all about me. Who
I am.
What chance meeting of brush and canvas painte...
ELLEN HOPKINS
You're a gift, one I'll always treasure. You're a dream I never want to wake up from. You open my ey...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Alone, there is only the person inside. I've grown to like her better than the stuck-up husk of me. ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Life was good
before I
met
the monster.
After,
life
was great
...
ELLEN HOPKINS
How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall...
ELLEN HOPKINS
empty and closed, hovering in some frozen netherworld neither sun nor rain could thaw.
ELLEN HOPKINS
you fly until you crash two days
two nights
no sleep,
no food,
come down off t...
ELLEN HOPKINS
The problem with resolutions is they're only as solid as the person making them.
ELLEN HOPKINS
The monster likes to talk; he jumps into your head and opens your mouth, making it spout your deepes...
ELLEN HOPKINS
you come home, and everyone talks at once and everyone asks questions, but no one waits for the answ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
How could I share the
way my heart was breaking
when my confessor
didn’t believe
ELLEN HOPKINS
Funny thing, your brain,
how it always functions on one
level or another. How, even stuck ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Smile. Nod. Say
something witty
before he finds
out what an incredible
geek you ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. Y...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear f...
ELLEN HOPKINS
I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong s...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Have you ever once in your life reached out to touch infinity?
ELLEN HOPKINS
Once

...Why
...lie?
...when
...truth is
...the easier path
ELLEN HOPKINS
I'll Stay

...leave
...me.
...I'll
...follow
...you.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Have to Find

...life
...is
...a—
...gamble
...after
...all.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Faces

...I
...don't
...know
...the real
...me
ELLEN HOPKINS
Might as Well Laugh

...remember
...when
...Life
...made
...sense
ELLEN HOPKINS
Home

...Home.
...the word,
...has
...no
...meaning
ELLEN HOPKINS
Possibilities

...in the closet
...itching
...to break out
...but afraid of...
ELLEN HOPKINS
When You Weren't Looking

...why.
...Can't you
...care
...more
...abou...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Our past may shape us, but it doesn't define who we become.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Back turned, you don't have to look at what you've left behind. And the person who first turned thei...
ELLEN HOPKINS
I never actually plan sequels. They demand to be done.
ELLEN HOPKINS
There are people who think it's easier to write books in verse, and it's definitely not.
ELLEN HOPKINS
I couldn't have known 'Crank' was going to be published, let alone become a big hit. Tha...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Believe it or not, I sold my first novel, 'Crank,' with only seventy-five pages complete. It...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Without poetry, stories would be told in sepia.
ELLEN HOPKINS
Fireworks. Snowflakes.
Sunstroke and frostbite.

It was all that I could ask for an...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Why doesn't love come with an owner's manual?
ELLEN HOPKINS
...Taking chances. Risking a little to gain a lot, fully aware that the word 'promise' defies defini...
ELLEN HOPKINS
Nonfiction speaks to the head. Fiction speaks to the heart. Poetry speaks to the soul. It's the ...
ELLEN HOPKINS
‎Perfect? How can you define a word without concrete meaning?
ELLEN HOPKINS
Love is more than blind. It's brain-dead.
ELLEN HOPKINS, TRICKS
In a word, if any kind of slavery can be vindicated by the Holy Scriptures, we are already sure our ...
SAMUEL HOPKINS
God saw fit, for wise reasons to allow the people of Israel thus to make and possess slaves; but is ...
SAMUEL HOPKINS
If it be not a sin, an open, flagrant violation of all the rules of justice and humanity, to hold th...
SAMUEL HOPKINS
Willingness to be damned for the glory of God.
SAMUEL HOPKINS
These Scriptures, therefore, are infinitely far from justifying the slavery under consideration; for...
SAMUEL HOPKINS
Furthermore, the slaves cannot be put into a more wretched situation, ourselves being judges, and th...
SAMUEL HOPKINS
However, I am willing to hear what you can produce from Scripture in favor of any kind of slavery.
SAMUEL HOPKINS
Our prayer and God's mercy are like two buckets in a well; while the one ascends the other desce...
MARK HOPKINS
I directed 24's pilot. I felt we should follow the characters around as if we were a documentary...
STEPHEN HOPKINS
It's just cool to me that Bon Jovi knows my name!
JOSH HOPKINS
I think all those actors from that generation, like Bogart - they were wonderful actors. They didn&#...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I don't have people following me around, like bodyguards. I don't know how people live like ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I said, 'I can't play Nixon. I'm not an American.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
The World's Fastest Indian? Oh, that's not for me. I've done enough with that role.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I don't look like him; I'm Welsh and have a rugby player's build. Burt was long and sinewy, but that...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I have no interest in Shakespeare and all that British nonsense... I just wanted to get famous and a...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
[During one scene in the movie] Proof, ... Night of the Living Dead.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
When I became an actor my dream was ... to come here to Hollywood. You know Hollywood is a state of ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I've got no need to prove to myself that I can do Shakespeare. I've done it.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Well, it's mission impossible, Mr. Hunt -- not mission difficult.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
On his Hannibal Lector mask: I've got it at home. I wear it to bed every night.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Why love if losing hurts so much… I have no answers anymore…only the life I have lived… The ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Why love if losing hurts so much… I have no answers anymore… only the life I have lived… The p...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Today, you have 100% of your life left.
TOM HOPKINS
The essential elements of giving are power and love - activity and affection - and the consciousness...
MARK HOPKINS
Internalization. This occurs when you've exploited impact, when you've molded the standard material ...
TOM HOPKINS
We are to regard the mind, not as a piece of iron to be laid upon the anvil and hammered into any sh...
MARK HOPKINS
The right name is an advertisement in itself.
CLAUDE HOPKINS
Why don't you want to do what you know you should do? The reason you don't is that you're in conflic...
TOM HOPKINS
No revolution that has ever taken place in society can be compared to that which has been produced b...
MARK HOPKINS
Repeat anything often enough and it will start to become you.
TOM HOPKINS
I never see failure as failure, but only as the game I must play and win.
TOM HOPKINS
I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number ...
TOM HOPKINS
You begin by always expecting good things to happen
TOM HOPKINS
Do what you fear most and you control fear.
TOM HOPKINS
An expert is someone who knows a lot about the past.
TOM HOPKINS
Internalization. This occurs when you've exploited impact, when you've molded the standard material ...
TOM HOPKINS
Religion without morality is a superstition and a curse, and morality without religion is impossible...
MARK HOPKINS
There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number ...
TOM HOPKINS
I think the first British actor who really worked well in cinema was Albert Finney. He was a back-st...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I'm devious, cruel, cunning and addictive.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I don't believe in nepotism. I don't much like the idea of parents who interfere.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I don't have many friends; I'm very much a loner. As a child I was very isolated, and I'...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I'm most suspicious of scripts that have a lot of stage direction at the top of the page... sunr...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
For me, time is the greatest mystery of all. The fact is that we're dreaming all the time. That&...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore; only the life I have lived. The pain no...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I love life because what more is there?
ANTHONY HOPKINS
The magical, supernatural force that is with us every second is time. We can't even comprehend i...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Relish everything that's inside of you, the imperfections, the darkness, the richness and light ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
If I spent all my time criticising myself, I wouldn't be able to function. There are actors who ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Actors I admire? Ed Harris, or course, I think he's terrific; because I know he always had to fi...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
We all dream. We dream vividly, depending on our nature. Our existence is beyond our explanation, wh...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I am able to play monsters well. I understand monsters. I understand madmen.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I tried acting, liked it, and stuck with it. I saw it as the way I would keep that promise to myself...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I come from - I came from Wales, and it's a strong, butch society. We were in the war and all th...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
We're all caught up in circumstances, and we're all good and evil. When you're really hu...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I would like to go back to Wales. I'm obsessed with my childhood and at least three times a week...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I'm a pretty tough guy, you know. I'm a pretty hard man. I've got a lot of compassion, b...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
Life's too short to deal with other people's insecurities.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
My philosophy is it's none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am,...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
When I started playing music, I was more of a character. Now I'm just me with a cool outfit on. ...
BEN HOPKINS
Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.
TOM HOPKINS
My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants.
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I felt a sense of urgency, ... I wasn't sure if I was winning or not.
BERNARD HOPKINS
Everything rides on Dec. 3. This fight is important because that's where Bernard Hopkins will show t...
BERNARD HOPKINS
That's the only thing that I say to myself that I need to work on.
BERNARD HOPKINS
I got my butt kicked.
BERNARD HOPKINS
I'm lining up my troops to go to battle with. Tarver is the man at light heavyweight. He has the cre...
BERNARD HOPKINS
Come Sunday morning, somebody's going to be asked questions (like) 'What happened?' ... And guess wh...
BERNARD HOPKINS
Understand that I'm at my best when it comes to proving a point, not only to show that I'm a better ...
BERNARD HOPKINS
If I'm in a situation where Duane Ford is one of the judges, I have to pick it up.
BERNARD HOPKINS
This is my last fight of meaningful significance, ... This is my last fight, outside and in the ring...
BERNARD HOPKINS
I was knocking guys out in the streets before I knew how to throw a jab and keep your chin down, ......
BERNARD HOPKINS
Rather than writing about my experiences with other people, 'Ugly Cherries' is the first son...
BEN HOPKINS
I know that the arts are important. I'm not denying that, but I can't associate myself with ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS