FastSaying

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?


David Sedaris

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You're the man now,' she said to me after my father died, 'you're the man.' Then she turned to Popey...
DAVID SEDARIS I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
AL FRANKEN I really doubt they'll need me. They should have enough people. It all depends on numbers. If they h...
BILL VAUGHN I started out as a writer. Poetry and prose and also kind of satirical David Sedaris-esque stuff.
PAULEY PERRETTE I am really liking it right now. I really feel like I'm fitting in with the guys. We're all playing ...
BRANDON MARSH Above all, I am an opera singer. This is how people will remember me.
LUCIANO PAVAROTTI Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
LIKE I On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
LIKE I I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ...
LIKE I I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w...
LIKE I I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t...
LIKE I I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
LIKE I I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
LIKE I You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
LIKE I I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I Married to the Mob.
LIKE I Hello you're with Drudge.
LIKE I I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
LIKE I Hey, look at me! Look at me! Look at me! And...look at me. Will he think I'm sexy enough? Will he fi...
EMILIE AUTUMN I am in control of all decisions that have to do with my image, which means that no one will decide ...
, I GOT THIS: HOW I CHANGED MY WAYS AND LOST WHAT WEIGHED ME DOWN, 2012 I am and will remain a tax resident in France and in this regard I will, like all French people, ful...
BERNARD ARNAULT I lean into all things that are a little off. I will always wear overalls. At this point, I find a w...
LAKE BELL I ought to point out that the Dinosaur movie really is by coincidence being released this week, ... ...
JACK GREENBERG She makes a coach look smart. She makes me look smarter than I am.
TOM ARMSTRONG Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and gettin...
GUY PEARCE I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-one it, people like me.
AL FRANKEN I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it people like me.
STUART SMALLEY I am not as smart as I would like you to think I am, I am only as smart as you allow me to be...
ERIC CAMERON GIFFORD I really don't think plastic surgery is a good idea. People who've had it done don't loo...
ELIZA DOOLITTLE The only presence I ever truly need is the presence of God!
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER All the kinds of things ... contrary to what the look is, ... I could do a high heel with a jumpsuit...
RALPH LAUREN All the kinds of things ... contrary to what the look is. I could do a high heel with a jumpsuit, or...
RALPH LAUREN I am not afraid of people who say all the wrong things that make others gasp in disbelief. I am afra...
C. JOYBELL C. All I really want to do is just keep acting, and some of it will stink, and some of it will be reall...
WHOOPI GOLDBERG I have no doubt at all it will help me succeed.
FRANK ORTIZ Experience has shown me that standing by oneself reading from one's book isn't especially co...
GAYLE FORMAN I like doing what I do, but I like having the opportunity to do different things, and obviously come...
JASON WILES All I want, is for you to love me. Not because of what I can do or what I look like, or because I lo...
DIANA GABALDON Do I look like I'm compelled to do anything? Do I seriously look like anyone could compel me to even...
DEBRA DUNBAR People are trying to be smart - all I am trying to do is not to be idiotic, but it's harder than...
CHARLIE MUNGER I [am] just hoping that over the next number of days that all the people within the community will �...
DON STEWART Sometimes I go, 'Wow, this is a director I really, really want to work with,' like David Cro...
HOLLY HUNTER Every memory makes me who I am right now, in this moment. Good or bad, all experiences shape you.
L.H. COSWAY All these people keep waxing sentimental about how fabulously well I am doing as a mother, how compe...
ANNE LAMOTT If you look long term, 10 years out, we won't have enough plastic surgeons to treat all of these pat...
JEFF KENKEL It's just so fragile. The growing sense of 'Oh, God, what am I doing? Am I any good? Will I ...
JACQUELINE MCKENZIE I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look...
MARGARET CHO Trust is really important, just in relationships in general. I really don't like people that aren't ...
BEYONCE KNOWLES Well, this is basically the end, so the answers should be in these next few pages. I doubt they will...
MARKUS ZUSAK Like all right-listening folk, I am an implacable enemy of all muzak.
WILL SELF I definitely think the torch has passed to me, but I think I will do all right.
KIM SCHMITT A person often saying ‘I LOVE YOU ALL’ to the people is just ensuring merely oneself each time t...
ANUJ SOMANY An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am inse...
SHANNON L. ALDER When the broad market gets a cold like this, the IPO market gets pneumonia. You really have to look ...
CHARLES KAPLAN When the broad market gets a cold like this, the IPO market gets pneumonia, ... You really have to l...
CHARLES KAPLAN Most people would be debating in their heads what to do in a year like this. It is all about prepara...
JUSTIN GATLIN As an actor, it easy to be so self-critical, saying to yourself, 'Am I good enough? Am I good lo...
CHRIS PINE Last year, I played like half a machine. I didn't feel strong ... I worked really hard this off-seas...
MAGGLIO ORDONEZ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a wife like everybody else and to take her ou...
GASTON LEROUX Having the right people around you all the time is important. I do take the acting seriously. But th...
CHRIS BROWN This entire cast, N.W.A, was an all-star group, and I really feel like people are going to look at &...
O'SHEA JACKSON, JR. Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It's the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to ...
ASHTON KUTCHER All we've been hearing all week is, 'David vs. Goliath. Well, in the real story, who won? David, rig...
ERIK HANSEN People who don't know me, how will they know what I am really like? They will only see me on the...
YUVRAJ SINGH I think all the bad things I have been through are in the past. I believe I am on the right path now...
LUIS SUAREZ I don't even think like that, ... Why wouldn't you want me? I went out there and did what I had to d...
ALONZO JACKSON When I'm going to events, I like Armani because I think they do a cross between my relaxed rocky...
RUTA GEDMINTAS Do not weep. Being is enough. There, that is all. I am done...
ALAN MOORE I don't really like him in the first place, so this doesn't surprise me at all.
MARK MASON I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that a...
MONTY PYTHON Sometimes all I have to do is get them started and I can sit back and watch. Some have really develo...
EVA LAWSON There is a little bit of me in every part I do... I'm not really good enough to completely const...
ZACH GILFORD OK, I'll put it like this: I doubt if we will see another All-American basketball athlete who is...
KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR It's like whoa, this is what you want to be doing. This is why you put in all the hard work. Why am ...
DAMON HOLLINS A quote isn't a quote until that quote is quotably quoted by and official Quotesman
I AM TIMEPIECE The internet has too much information out there for you to ask a dumb question
I AM TIMEPIECE I am no longer a rare breed, I am an endangered species
I AM TIMEPIECE I wish there was an edit button on Life because sometimes we don't realize the mistakes we've made u...
I AM TIMEPIECE Life are full of memories, capture them
I AM TIMEPIECE I don't fit in because I was born to stand out
I AM TIMEPIECE I've had to deal with that all my life. Everywhere I go, people doubt me just because of the way I l...
GABE MCMILLEN My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for c...
THOMAS MERTON I think the ball will be all over the place this year, ... We have a lot more speed at the receiver ...
MICHAEL BUSH I am pleased to welcome David into this leadership position. We have seen a growing need for this sy...
JAMIE PORTER I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a commo...
NICHOLAS SPARKS I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a commo...
NICHOLAS SPARKS (THE NOTEBOOK) I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a commo...
NICHOLAS SPARKS I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
ANDRE DAWSON Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to ...
NINA GUILBEAU The consumer is where the growth is. All the hard drive guys look smart right now,
BILL WATKINS I'm smart enough to know to work with smart people.
IDINA MENZEL I feel like people think that we're really, really smart. Yes, we're smart, but we skipped school be...
EMILY MINDREBO All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back t...
DAN CASTELLANETA You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as f...
DAN QUAYLE I can't say enough about how I'm against drugs. Be smart, think about it, look at what it do...
ERIKA CHRISTENSEN People can be cruel,' he says with a sympathetic look that makes me trust him even more. And right t...
MATTHEW QUICK

More David Sedaris

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.
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DAVID SEDARIS If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
DAVID SEDARIS Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result....
DAVID SEDARIS Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at."
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DAVID SEDARIS Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
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DAVID SEDARIS Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes...
DAVID SEDARIS For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that rese...
DAVID SEDARIS I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.
DAVID SEDARIS but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
DAVID SEDARIS Potential boyfriends could not smoke Merit cigarettes, own or wear a pair of cowboy boots, or eat an...
DAVID SEDARIS It's a common mistake for vacationing Americans to assume that everyone around them is French and th...
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DAVID SEDARIS If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt? I accepte...
DAVID SEDARIS What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyo...
DAVID SEDARIS In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schem...
DAVID SEDARIS Amy adored both the new look and the new person it allowed her to be. Following the photo shoot, she...
DAVID SEDARIS The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
DAVID SEDARIS The italian nanny was attempting to answer the teachers latest question when the moroccan student in...
DAVID SEDARIS I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an ...
DAVID SEDARIS At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loade...
DAVID SEDARIS On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From ...
DAVID SEDARIS When asked "What do we need to learn this for?" any high-school teacher can confidently answer that,...
DAVID SEDARIS I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I coul...
DAVID SEDARIS Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an und...
DAVID SEDARIS Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might ca...
DAVID SEDARIS When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.
DAVID SEDARIS If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
DAVID SEDARIS People in trailers were canned and labeled much like the apple juice down at the plant, stamped with...
DAVID SEDARIS There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.
DAVID SEDARIS I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwi...
DAVID SEDARIS The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections o...
DAVID SEDARIS The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-y...
DAVID SEDARIS My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard o...
DAVID SEDARIS Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
DAVID SEDARIS I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter...
DAVID SEDARIS It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will...
DAVID SEDARIS After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where...
DAVID SEDARIS To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.
DAVID SEDARIS Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to ...
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a ...
DAVID SEDARIS What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
DAVID SEDARIS People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive i...
DAVID SEDARIS No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
DAVID SEDARIS Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people a...
DAVID SEDARIS After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I d...
DAVID SEDARIS For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but...
DAVID SEDARIS At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would ...
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candi...
DAVID SEDARIS As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.
DAVID SEDARIS People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that t...
DAVID SEDARIS I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it...
DAVID SEDARIS But most good movies have a gun in them.
DAVID SEDARIS They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too genero...
DAVID SEDARIS I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorist...
DAVID SEDARIS But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
DAVID SEDARIS Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do...
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospecti...
DAVID SEDARIS I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodr...
DAVID SEDARIS I've become like one of those people I hate, the sort who go to the museum and, instead of looking a...
DAVID SEDARIS If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you...
DAVID SEDARIS There’s a short circuit between my brain and my tongue, thus “Leave me the fuck alone” comes o...
DAVID SEDARIS A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more ...
DAVID SEDARIS Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering ...
DAVID SEDARIS You're the man now,' she said to me after my father died, 'you're the man.' Then she turned to Popey...
DAVID SEDARIS On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot...
DAVID SEDARIS It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.
DAVID SEDARIS States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don't want to get married, it tends t...
DAVID SEDARIS I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.
DAVID SEDARIS When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers o...
DAVID SEDARIS It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of...
DAVID SEDARIS Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on th...
DAVID SEDARIS Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all o...
DAVID SEDARIS I'm just a big liar.
DAVID SEDARIS On Undecided Voter​s: "To put them in perspective, I think​ of being​ on an airplane.​ The f...
DAVID SEDARIS It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my ...
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter o...
DAVID SEDARIS In Paris the cashiers sit rather than stand. They run your goods over a scanner, tally up the price,...
DAVID SEDARIS Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt...
DAVID SEDARIS I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people...
DAVID SEDARIS He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making...
DAVID SEDARIS Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar wit...
DAVID SEDARIS Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in m...
DAVID SEDARIS Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Drac...
DAVID SEDARIS Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and...
DAVID SEDARIS Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on th...
DAVID SEDARIS Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—...
DAVID SEDARIS I asked her, dreamily, if we had met, and when she told me that we had not, I gave her a little fing...
DAVID SEDARIS Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candi...
DAVID SEDARIS If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
DAVID SEDARIS … [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve...
DAVID SEDARIS One thing about English-language bookstores in the age of Amazon is that it assumes that everybody h...
DAVID SEDARIS When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
DAVID SEDARIS Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shi...
DAVID SEDARIS the lower bunks, both of us longing to be pinned. “You kids think you invented sex,” my mother w...
DAVID SEDARIS Someone in our family had taken to wiping his or her ass on the bath towels. What made this exceptio...
DAVID SEDARIS The whole notion of the nursing home was something dreamed up by people like my mother; American wom...
DAVID SEDARIS The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world, these colored people wish they were w...
DAVID SEDARIS the beauty of an art school: as long as you can pay the tuition, they will never, even in the gentle...
DAVID SEDARIS The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing some...
DAVID SEDARIS You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholi...
DAVID SEDARIS What are you, tap dancing up there? You want a put on a show, do you? Well, the theater's closed for...
DAVID SEDARIS You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, j...
DAVID SEDARIS My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for _who_ I am. Concentrate too hard...
DAVID SEDARIS They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of...
DAVID SEDARIS Motherfucker, you haven't got the fucking balls God gave a goddamned church mouse. You crawled out o...
DAVID SEDARIS Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertai...
DAVID SEDARIS He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us!
DAVID SEDARIS Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where ...
DAVID SEDARIS We give anonymously because the sackfuls of thank-you letters break our hearts with their clumsy han...
DAVID SEDARIS If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit...
DAVID SEDARIS Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you some...
DAVID SEDARIS I’d always been afraid of sick people, and so had my mother. It wasn’t that we feared catching t...
DAVID SEDARIS As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
DAVID SEDARIS The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
DAVID SEDARIS I've always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down m...
DAVID SEDARIS I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
DAVID SEDARIS What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was...
DAVID SEDARIS I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so.
DAVID SEDARIS College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for...
DAVID SEDARIS between the disfigurement and the muzzle, it's nearly impossible to catch what she's saying. Always,...
DAVID SEDARIS Shit is the tofu of cursing.
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective c...
DAVID SEDARIS Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that t...
DAVID SEDARIS When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had no...
DAVID SEDARIS If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven...
DAVID SEDARIS The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as lo...
DAVID SEDARIS Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.
DAVID SEDARIS That man tried to picka my frienda’s pocketoni!
DAVID SEDARIS They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should...
DAVID SEDARIS All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is sa...
DAVID SEDARIS He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone.
DAVID SEDARIS A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneas...
DAVID SEDARIS I hate computers. My hatred is entrenched, and I nourish it daily. I’m comfortable with it, and no...
DAVID SEDARIS As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.
DAVID SEDARIS Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the...
DAVID SEDARIS whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn ...
DAVID SEDARIS If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter o...
DAVID SEDARIS I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk mo...
DAVID SEDARIS I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
DAVID SEDARIS I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.
DAVID SEDARIS My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six mon...
DAVID SEDARIS Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
DAVID SEDARIS I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
DAVID SEDARIS But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.
DAVID SEDARIS The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority....
DAVID SEDARIS The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I ...
DAVID SEDARIS Cover your glass in France or Germany --even worse, in England - and in the voice of someone who has...
DAVID SEDARIS Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconvenienc...
DAVID SEDARIS Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his ...
AMY SEDARIS Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were ...
AMY SEDARIS I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my...
AMY SEDARIS My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
AMY SEDARIS I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someo...
AMY SEDARIS You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use y...
AMY SEDARIS I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to mak...
AMY SEDARIS I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's ...
AMY SEDARIS People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
AMY SEDARIS I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But...
AMY SEDARIS I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be'...
AMY SEDARIS More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They ...
AMY SEDARIS I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it becaus...
AMY SEDARIS I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
AMY SEDARIS If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I alway...
AMY SEDARIS You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character acto...
AMY SEDARIS Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny ...
AMY SEDARIS But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
AMY SEDARIS My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
AMY SEDARIS When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yoursel...
AMY SEDARIS Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
AMY SEDARIS I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
AMY SEDARIS I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, includ...
AMY SEDARIS I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd ge...
AMY SEDARIS I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff ...
AMY SEDARIS We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
AMY SEDARIS My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea m...
AMY SEDARIS I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
AMY SEDARIS My characters always like themselves.
AMY SEDARIS It's all about process to me - as long as it's fun to me, I don't care about the final product.
AMY SEDARIS It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high...
AMY SEDARIS I'm satisfied just thinking of the idea.
AMY SEDARIS I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS I'm not a first-place person.
AMY SEDARIS You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors w...
AMY SEDARIS I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
AMY SEDARIS It's driving me crazy! It's awful. I saw four last night during the Academy Awards. Four little baby...
AMY SEDARIS I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS