Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?


David Sedaris

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When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.
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You can kill a man but you cant kill a idea.
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You're right, he's a killer," you said. "A rooster with some serious issues.
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i will admit there's a certain degree of giving a fuck that goes into not giving a fuck. by saying y...
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You prank me


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DEYTH BANGER
California is a small woman saying, 'Fuck me.' New York is a large man saying, 'Fuck you!
GEORGE CARLIN
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Drop the fucking weapon, you fucking motherfucker or I'll fucking scramble your fucking brains. Hand...
J.D. ROBB
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Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He had the two wards of the fucking Marshal of the fucking Southern Pr...
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Be careful, little killer. The Fates can fuck with you in ways you can’t even imagine.
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If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
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In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
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The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
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Fuck You Poem #45

Fuck you in slang and conventional English.
Fuck you in lost and n...
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Do you know?
What the fuck do women want?
l know what you want: everything.
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God's will can go fuck itself. And so can you.
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Don't you know that nobody can make you be shit? You can only let it happen.
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When you think you are ready you are not ready.
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We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase about abortion, it might be...
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Did you know the pen is stronger than the knife: they can kill you once but they can't kill you twic...
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If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.
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You fuck - you ate my cat!
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You know what sucks about sorry? It's the worst word in the world. Because it always happens after y...
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Appearance doesn’t matter, what matter is; How you think! How you work! & How you fuck!
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Every time you wake up, you let fly the most marvelous string of curses. It’s never the same twice...
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Nobody wants to hear that you met Harry Truman... I met Harry Truman... But you know what I mean? No...
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BARBARA KINGSOLVER
If you don't agree with me, I have two words for you: shut the fuck up.
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Fuck you! I hope you die!"
"Everybody Dies," I said. "So fuck you.
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The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue.
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Riding the Iron Rooster.
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I don't know how to phrase this exactly but what the fuck?
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.... I was telling you... but you don't listen to me....
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Fallon, you’re my Achilles Heel. I want to fuck you senseless, until you feel me imprinted on you ...
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Fuck it, except yourself; unless you wanna fuck more.
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I’d say over my dead body, but I think you already made that point,” Michael snapped. “Thanks ...
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You are a religious and a scholar; what the fuck?
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Fuck you! I pierced my nipples for her!
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i can go on all day pretending to be happy an fooling the world and leave you wondiring when im gone...
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I'm gonna love you with all these scars, with this sexy-as-fuck- short hair. However the fuck you lo...
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U just gotta a ticket for the new town

"FUCK YOU".
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Are you fighting evil tonight?...Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.
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SALMAN RUSHDIE
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The doctor can fuck himself
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You can't fuck with the kid... and I'm the fucking kid!
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If anyone tells you love makes you invincible, tell them they're full of shit. Love makes you parano...
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I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter o...
DAVID SEDARIS
I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk mo...
DAVID SEDARIS
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
DAVID SEDARIS
I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.
DAVID SEDARIS
My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six mon...
DAVID SEDARIS
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
DAVID SEDARIS
I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
DAVID SEDARIS
But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.
DAVID SEDARIS
The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority....
DAVID SEDARIS
The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I ...
DAVID SEDARIS
Cover your glass in France or Germany --even worse, in England - and in the voice of someone who has...
DAVID SEDARIS
Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconvenienc...
DAVID SEDARIS
Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his ...
AMY SEDARIS
Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were ...
AMY SEDARIS
I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my...
AMY SEDARIS
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
AMY SEDARIS
I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someo...
AMY SEDARIS
You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use y...
AMY SEDARIS
I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to mak...
AMY SEDARIS
I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's ...
AMY SEDARIS
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
AMY SEDARIS
I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But...
AMY SEDARIS
I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be'...
AMY SEDARIS
More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They ...
AMY SEDARIS
I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it becaus...
AMY SEDARIS
I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
AMY SEDARIS
If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I alway...
AMY SEDARIS
You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character acto...
AMY SEDARIS
Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny ...
AMY SEDARIS
But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
AMY SEDARIS
My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
AMY SEDARIS
When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yoursel...
AMY SEDARIS
Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
AMY SEDARIS
I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
AMY SEDARIS
I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, includ...
AMY SEDARIS
I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd ge...
AMY SEDARIS
I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff ...
AMY SEDARIS
We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
AMY SEDARIS
My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea m...
AMY SEDARIS
I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
AMY SEDARIS
My characters always like themselves.
AMY SEDARIS
It's all about process to me - as long as it's fun to me, I don't care about the final product.
AMY SEDARIS
It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high...
AMY SEDARIS
I'm satisfied just thinking of the idea.
AMY SEDARIS
I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS
I'm not a first-place person.
AMY SEDARIS
You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors w...
AMY SEDARIS
I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
AMY SEDARIS
It's driving me crazy! It's awful. I saw four last night during the Academy Awards. Four little baby...
AMY SEDARIS
I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS