FastSaying

Sometimes I wake up and wonder if those chalk outlines they have at murder scenes get together for holiday parties...


Neil Leckman

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Sometimes I wake at night in the White House and rub my eyes and wonder if it is not all a dream.
GROVER CLEVELAND I saw those songs they sang together as love scenes.
JAMES MANGOLD Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?” “I’m nothing special. I’m drowning,” I...
IF I WAKE I’d scream, but I have no voice. The bullies stole it from me
IF I WAKE You said I don’t exist in one life. What if each of these lives are designed to teach you a lesson...
IF I WAKE I’m William James Carter. My friends call me Will,” he says. “I’m Lucy Janette Phillips,” ...
IF I WAKE She has a long journey ahead of her. She doesn’t need to hear she will lose before she even begins
IF I WAKE I had a million things running through my mind the other day.
Suddenly I realized I didn't kno...
NEIL LECKMAN, WURMS The other day I was trying to enjoy the sunset of my mind when I realized we were on daylight saving...
NEIL LECKMAN, WURMS I am not very good at sticking to outlines, and I double back all the time to revisit scenes and cha...
HOLLY BLACK I never wake up in the morning and wonder why I am here. I wake up and wonder why I am not making he...
JEFFREY FRY It's always a pleasure watching you wake up," he commented. "But sometimes I wonder if you want me o...
J.D. ROBB There are other companies that have looked at stitching video scenes together, but generally those c...
ED THOMPSON I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at bein...
NEIL LECKMAN Turn your diodes this way and pulse...
NEIL LECKMAN They have put together a draft proposal that outlines where the trails could go.
NADINE LEMMON Sometimes I cry at night because I wonder how my family will get on without her. She was the glue th...
ADEWALE ADEYOOYE Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder how I do these things. I can embarrass mys...
DAISY DONOVAN Sometimes I wake up laughing when I have a great dream. And sometimes I have nightmares - and I hate...
MARIAH CAREY I can get moody sometimes when I wake up after a nap - I'm like a four-year-old.
ED WESTWICK Don't wake up in the morning and wonder why you are here. Wake up and wonder why you are not making ...
RANJIT GEORGE And now, I'm a best selling author, a different sort of fairy tale that I still sometimes wonder...
ERIN MORGENSTERN I wonder what I will do if she doesn't wake up, and I don't have an answer. As I lie back down next ...
SHAY SAVAGE I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If...
HARRY HERSHFIELD Sometimes I listen to music and I wonder how did they get certain sounds.
SAMPHA Sometimes you wake up from a dream. Sometimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a...
RICHELLE MEAD Politics is challenging for everyone's integrity... I have to wake up with myself every morning,...
BETSY HODGES How to contact in case of an emergency?

I prefer 911 myself...
NEIL LECKMAN I'm not sure if it's possible, but if it is I have a life contract with a rubber glove clause. This ...
NEIL LECKMAN My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick.
I always pictured an all ...
NEIL LECKMAN NEIL LECKMAN I am open to comments, I accept with with all humility, or at least what I can muster at short notic...
NEIL LECKMAN I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!!
NEIL LECKMAN Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to ...
NEIL LECKMAN Sat in the Jacuzzi last night looking at the dark recesses of the nozzles. Remembering the story I w...
NEIL LECKMAN They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it.
NEIL LECKMAN I'll give you something to cry about!!
Hell, no need to get up I’m doing a good job of bawli...
NEIL LECKMAN Bad answers for employment questions:

Employer: I see here that you worked for the state ...
NEIL LECKMAN Why is ground round sold in a square package?
NEIL LECKMAN Overheard vampire conversation.
"Is that Ophelia?"
"yep"
"She doesn't look well"
NEIL LECKMAN I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!
NEIL LECKMAN What happens if you get scared half to death twice?? Who keeps track of those things?
NEIL LECKMAN When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".
NEIL LECKMAN If you sleep with one eye open are your dreams only half as good as everyone elses?
NEIL LECKMAN Bad questions at employment interviews:

"Is your drug test graded on a curve?
NEIL LECKMAN I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!!
NEIL LECKMAN If I were a candy bar I’d want to be a snicker, because then I’d have the last laugh!!
NEIL LECKMAN Headstones:

What I asked was, "Would you MARRY me?!!"

"This time I'll count to...
NEIL LECKMAN I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges soaking up so much water.
NEIL LECKMAN Thrice damned she howls like Cerberus to the night
Guarding virtues that lie like forgotten sta...
NEIL LECKMAN You know what they say. "One man's joke is another man's brother
NEIL LECKMAN One of the joys of being a grandparent is giving your grandchild caffeinated sugary drinks late in t...
NEIL LECKMAN those who don't dream have nothing to wake up for
ANKIT KASHYAP When I awake thinking of dreams I slept on, I often wonder, if the dreams ever wake up thinking of m...
ANTHONY LICCIONE That guy was Neil Sedaka, ... We also grew up with Carole King and Neil Diamond. We all grew up toge...
JAY SIEGEL Sometimes I wake up and think I look horrible. And sometimes I see a strong woman.
IRINA SHAYK You have to string together hits. You can end up with 16 hits, and get two an inning, and you might ...
AARON ROWAND I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodie...
YOKO ONO Obviously they identified us as together, as gay, to the extent that they yelled a pejorative at my ...
CHUCK JOHNSON Something is wrong with America. I wonder sometimes what people are thinking about or if they're...
BOB DOLE Sometimes I wake up, I feel like, I'm like 80-years-old.
BAM MARGERA If I get a call, I'll be at the meeting. But at this point, I just have confidence that I'm going to...
RONNIE THOMPSON They're (Wake Forest) going to have a terrific year, and obviously this is a great confidence builde...
JERRY WAINWRIGHT Sometimes you wonder how you got on this mountain. But sometimes you wonder, How will I get off?
JOAN MANLEY Sometimes you wonder how you got on this mountain. But sometimes you wonder, "How will I get off?".
JOAN MANLEY I think a wake-up call is sometimes needed. Andy was here a long time ... now John's in and we have ...
CRAIG CONROY They haven't come up with a vision for what if the monarchy is abolished. To the extent of opposing ...
YUBARAJ GHIMIRE Parents sometimes ask what they can do to get the child to stop wetting the bed. The classes I've at...
JEAN PARKER Since I'm on a tour bus, sometimes it's really hard for me to wash my face, so I always make...
BEBE REXHA The scenes that made it a PG-13 -- to take them out would have not been, to our minds, honoring our ...
DAWN TAUBIN The scenes that made it a PG-13 -- to take them out would have not been, to our minds, honoring our ...
DAWN TAUBIN If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like going straight back to bed. But I still have to get...
ESTELLE Sometimes you come home at night and wonder if you've done a good job.
SANDY ABRAMS When I'm sleeping, if it gets in my face, sometimes it'll wake me up.
JACOB DEGROM Sometimes I wonder if I'm as famous for my wheelchair and disabilities as I am for my discoverie...
STEPHEN HAWKING I sometimes wonder if I am mad, but then I wonder what it means to be mad. I mean, can you truly say...
J. "CYLO" G. If there was no brain damage, I would have expected him to wake up at this point.
DR. JOHN MARTIN Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
UNKNOWN I generally wake up at 4:30, have breakfast No. 1, then get to the pool by 5 a.m.
NATALIE COUGHLIN During holiday parties I end up recycling a lot of my cocktail dresses and just wearing a layering p...
LAUREN CONRAD Those who have FAITH believe that the Sun will Rise. They don’t wake up in the morning and look ou...
RVM I think that the hurricane is a wake-up call for all us people to come together. And you know what? ...
CURTIS RELIFORD I wonder sometimes if the motivation for writers ought to be contempt, not admiration.
ORSON SCOTT CARD The small hand of a clock taps me at one and two, three and four, whispering hello, get up, stand up...
TAHEREH MAFI When things get too complicated, it sometimes makes sense to stop and wonder: Have I asked the right...
ENRICO BOMBIERI Sometimes, I wake up and the skies are grey and everything's horrible.
PATRICIA KAAS I have notebooks and sketchbooks for ideas. I also have drawers full of envelopes covered in quick o...
STEVEN HALL We have the good, bad and the ugly. Sometimes people fall asleep and they don't know where they're g...
BROCK ROSAYN Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.
NEIL GAIMAN Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just l...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY Now they have a riddle.

- Criminal Minds
DEYTH BANGER I think he's the right guy at the right time. Sometimes you need a wake-up call. We've got ours.
LARRY BIRD Sometimes you go through slumps, ... But I feel like if I put a couple of good at-bats together, I'l...
HANK BLALOCK People change. Sometimes I think they don't know they're changing until it's already happened, thoug...
LINDSEY KELK I breakfast when I get up, lunch when I get the chance. If I never get it, I forget it. Sometimes I ...
JOSEPH PULITZER For example, people with heart failure develop a breathing pattern where they stop breathing (at dif...
DR. MEIR KRYGER So are we lost or do we know
Which direction we should go
Sit around and wait for someone ...
LOST PROPHETS The simple answer is we work on their schedule. If they have a holiday, we have a holiday.
JAMIE GRAHAM

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NEIL LECKMAN NEIL LECKMAN I am open to comments, I accept with with all humility, or at least what I can muster at short notic...
NEIL LECKMAN I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!!
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NEIL LECKMAN Bad answers for employment questions:

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NEIL LECKMAN Why is ground round sold in a square package?
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"Is that Ophelia?"
"yep"
"She doesn't look well"
NEIL LECKMAN I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!
NEIL LECKMAN What happens if you get scared half to death twice?? Who keeps track of those things?
NEIL LECKMAN When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".
NEIL LECKMAN I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at bein...
NEIL LECKMAN If you sleep with one eye open are your dreams only half as good as everyone elses?
NEIL LECKMAN Bad questions at employment interviews:

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NEIL LECKMAN I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!!
NEIL LECKMAN If I were a candy bar I’d want to be a snicker, because then I’d have the last laugh!!
NEIL LECKMAN Headstones:

What I asked was, "Would you MARRY me?!!"

"This time I'll count to...
NEIL LECKMAN I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges soaking up so much water.
NEIL LECKMAN Thrice damned she howls like Cerberus to the night
Guarding virtues that lie like forgotten sta...
NEIL LECKMAN You know what they say. "One man's joke is another man's brother
NEIL LECKMAN One of the joys of being a grandparent is giving your grandchild caffeinated sugary drinks late in t...
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VINCE NEIL I appreciate the 'Surreal Life.' I had a really positive experience on that show, and with t...
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NEIL GAIMAN I think I’ll dismember the world and then I’ll dance in the wreckage.
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Bod thought for a mo...
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NEIL GAIMAN We...we could be friends.'

We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing Afric...
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'Cats don't have names,'...
NEIL GAIMAN There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they we...
NEIL GAIMAN Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.
NEIL GAIMAN That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
NEIL GAIMAN I mean, maybe I am crazy. I mean, maybe. But if this is all there is, then I don't want to be sane.
NEIL GAIMAN CORALINE'S STORY
THERE WAS A GIRL HER NAME WAS APPLE. SHE USED TO DANCE A LOT. SHE DANCED AND D...
NEIL GAIMAN Sleep my little baby-oh
Sleep until you waken
When you wake you'll see the world
If I...
NEIL GAIMAN Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.
NEIL GAIMAN Does it make you feel big to make a little boy cry?
NEIL GAIMAN I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same thing at t...
NEIL GAIMAN 25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming swo...
NEIL GAIMAN I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to lo...
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NEIL GAIMAN Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and i...
NEIL GAIMAN The gods we prayed to when we were young used up their time so long ago. They cannot answer anymore....
NEIL GAIMAN Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and...
NEIL GAIMAN Oh, he'll help us whether he wants to or not. I told the truth. I would not kill him. The death-curs...
NEIL GAIMAN I am the mother of Odin's stallion, Sleipnir. I am the father of Fenrir Sun-Eater, and of Hel Half-R...
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NEIL GAIMAN I'll tell you a secret. A raven created the world. When Noah sent him out to find land, he couldn't ...
NEIL GAIMAN It must be a real betrayal, when your body turns against you.

I wonder if she likes flow...
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NEIL GAIMAN Love takes hostages.
NEIL GAIMAN We are all improved by the glow of memory.
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NEIL GAIMAN Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and ...
NEIL GAIMAN I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a l...
NEIL GAIMAN It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no cl...
NEIL GAIMAN All around me darkness gathers,
Fading is the sun that shone,
We must speak of other mat...
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NEIL GAIMAN We make choices. No one else can live our lives for us. And we must confront and accept the conseque...
NEIL GAIMAN You don't have to stay anywhere forever.
NEIL GAIMAN Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life......
NEIL GAIMAN Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and i...
NEIL GAIMAN She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon. You think you k...
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NEIL GAIMAN You'll think this is a bit silly, but I'm a bit--well, I have a thing about birds."
"What, a ph...
NEIL GAIMAN Nobody looks like what they really are on the inside. You don’t. I don’t. People are much more c...
NEIL GAIMAN There was a smile dancing on his lips, although it was a wary smile, for the world is a bigger place...
NEIL GAIMAN In a perfect world, you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glitt...
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NEIL PASRICHA Honestly, if you're given the choice between Armageddon or tea, you don't say 'what kind of tea?
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NEIL GAIMAN There's none so blind as those who will not listen.
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NEIL GAIMAN There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s Desire.
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NEIL GAIMAN She sat down on one of her grandmother's uncomfortable armchairs, and the cat sprang up into her lap...
NEIL GAIMAN The cat looked as if it were about to say something sarcastic. Then it flicked its whiskers and said...
NEIL GAIMAN For a moment she felt utterly dislocated. She did not know where she was; she was not entirely sure ...
NEIL GAIMAN It won't hurt, said her other father. Coraline knew that when grown-ups told you something wouldn't ...
NEIL GAIMAN There's a but, isn't there?" said Coraline. "I can feel it. Like a rain cloud.
NEIL GAIMAN On the first day Coraline's family moved in, Miss Spink and Miss Forcible made a point of telling Co...
NEIL GAIMAN They were having an argument as old and comfortable as an armchair, the kind of argument that no one...
NEIL GAIMAN The cat wrinkled its nose and managed to look unimpressed. "Calling cats," it confided, "tends to be...
NEIL GAIMAN The world seemed to shimmer a little at the edges.
NEIL GAIMAN You know I love you,' said the other mother flatly.
'You have a very funny way of showing it,' ...
NEIL GAIMAN Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don'...
NEIL GAIMAN Oh- my twitchy witchy girl
I think you are so nice,
I give you bowls of porridge
And ...
NEIL GAIMAN I was kidnapped by aliens, they came down from outer space with ray guns, but I fooled them by weari...
NEIL GAIMAN Coraline shivered. She preferred her other mother to have a location: if she were nowhere, then she ...
NEIL GAIMAN Mirrors,' she said, 'are never to be trusted.
NEIL GAIMAN Nothing’s changed. You’ll go home. You’ll be bored. You’ll be ignored. No one will listen to...
NEIL GAIMAN We are small but we are many
We are many we are small
We were here before you rose
We...
NEIL GAIMAN I have no plans to love you," said Coraline. "No matter what. You can't make me love you.
NEIL GAIMAN The sky had never seemed so sky; the world had never seemed so world.
NEIL GAIMAN The names are the first things to go, after the breath has gone, and the beating of the heart. We ke...
NEIL GAIMAN It is astonishing just how much of what we are can be tied to the beds we wake up in in the morning,...
NEIL GAIMAN But how can you walk away from something and still come back to it?
NEIL GAIMAN How do I know you'll keep your word?" asked Coraline.
"I swear it," said the other mother. "I s...
NEIL GAIMAN Because,' she said, 'when you're scared but you still do it anyway, that's brave.
NEIL GAIMAN I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got ev...
NEIL GAIMAN I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies.
NEIL GAIMAN You have to believe. Otherwise, it will never happen.
NEIL GAIMAN I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody...
NEIL GAIMAN You've a good heart. Sometimes that's enough to see you safe wherever you go. But mostly, it's not.
NEIL GAIMAN What I say is, a town isn’t a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it�...
NEIL GAIMAN I’m not happy about any of this,” said Thor. “I’m going to kill somebody soon, just to relie...
NEIL GAIMAN Fair enough,” said Thor. “What’s the price?” “Freya’s hand in marriage.” “He just wa...
NEIL GAIMAN