Someone told me you are the worst kisser in the world... want to show me it's not true?

In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.

Learning a foreign language is pointless, I’m not even allowed to talk to strangers.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!