Small, bald white guys like myself - we all kind of look the same.

In a perfect world, I would be 6-foot-3 and have a perfect head of hair and look like Orlando Bloom.

Every single day the world seems like it is on the brink of falling apart. But then I look outside my window, and things look about the same as they did a week ago. It's almost a form of cognitive dissonance.

Have I dated a supermodel? Of course not. I'd look ridiculous.

If Nirvana had remained a small, underground punk rock band, Kurt Cobain would still be alive. And he'd probably be living in Seattle, getting kind of fat and balding, be relatively happy and producing records for other people.

I always feel kind of absurd and presumptuous presenting a speech.