Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

At the end of the day, we've got the Olympics. After you've gone to inline worlds, you've reached the top of that sport. What do you have to look forward to after that?

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.