Pro golf is dull. It's a chorus line of blond towheads you can't even tell apart.

Lloyd could get down in two from off the earth.

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result

I've got a subscription to Golf Digest. I may ask them to vote us No. 1, ... We're 13-0. We should be national champions. There's no doubt about it.

Just knock hell out of it with your right hand.