Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.

Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.