Patrick and I were about as different as two people could possibly be. Nothing embarrasses Patrick very much, and everything embarrasses me. Just being alive embarrasses me.

Sexually active? Sexually active? Patrick and I hadn't even learned the fine points of kissing yet!
I marched on down. 'For your information,' I said from the doorway, as both Dad and Lester jerked to attention, 'I am about as sexually active as a bag of spinach, and if you want to keep me on the porch and not out in the park somewhere behind the bushes, you'll keep the stupid porch light off when I come home with a boy.

I know, but if I feel this bad for Gramps, how am I going to feel when it’s Dad?” Tyler told me.
“You’ll feel even worse, of course, but you’ll carry on, because happiness has a way of creeping in again. It really does,” I said.

The world is full of unrequited love,' I said finally.
'You and Patrick having problems?' Dad said, reaching around to get the butter out of the fridge.
'No, I was just wondering what you would say if I was a lesbian.'
'Come again?' said Lester. 'I'm having a hard time following this conversation.

You don't have to be part of a couple to be happy, you know.

Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.
'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.
'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.
'Huh?' said Lester.