Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

I could have made a neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.