One can only tolerate the absolute idiocy of Man for so long before bringing out the bat.

It’s a tricky business, nurturing that aura of unapproachability.

When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.

No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.
It never is, sir.
Lane, you're a perfect pessimist.
I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.

I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.