Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.