Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.


Mark Twain

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approac...
MARK TWAIN
Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK
Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not...
PATRICK MOORE
If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
PETER FALK
If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness. Would the world be a worse place fo...
PAULO COELHO
Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.
BOB NEWHART
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN
If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier that ...
MONTESQUIEU
If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier that ot...
CHARLES MONTESQUIEU
If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than ot...
CHARLES DE MONTESQUIEU
If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, and th...
CHARLES DE MONTESQUIEU
If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, and th...
CHARLES DE MONTESQUIEU
Wealth, status, and power have become in our culture all too powerful symbols of happiness. ... And ...
MIHALY CSIKSZENTMIHALYI
If only the world were full of truth, things would be better.
JOSH CHILDERS
If we only wanted to be happy it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which i...
She only felt that the candle would burn better, the packing go easier, the world be happier, if she...
E.M. FORSTER
The Church's Restoration / In eighteen-eighty-three / Has left for contemplation / Not what there us...
JOHN BETJEMAN
Mark Twain.
FRIENDS
I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL
If the limit of age 80 is at the summit of Mt Everest, the highest place on Earth, one can never be ...
YUICHIRO MIURA
Color had been made the mark of enslavement and was taken to be also the mark of inferiority; for pr...
WILLIAM PICKENS
How dull life would be if we could not laugh at it, at ourselves -- but mostly at others!"
COREY BYRON FISH
But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.
MARK TWAIN
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
DICK VAN DYKE
I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE
Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ...
GERMANY KENT
It is curious-curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so r...
MARK TWAIN
Coping with the demands of everyday life would be exceedingly trying if one could arrive at solution...
ALBERT BANDURA
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN
I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN
If money could buy us happiness then some of the richest people on earth would be more than one mill...
AVIJEET DAS
If life were easier you wouldn't be happier.
DAN WALDSCHMIDT
Consider well the proportion of things. It is better to be a young June bug, than an old bird of par...
MARK TWAIN
Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes beautiful. If we could only be miserab...
T.H. WHITE
I have lived eighty years of life and know nothing for it, but to be resigned and tell myself that f...
VOLTAIRE
Your life could be so much better, if you would only decide that it will.
JACEY R. FOLEY
I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN
[March 25 -] Songs and Stories for Everybody ... the Mark Twain of contemporary kids' music.
BILL HARLEY
If life were just, we would be born old and achieve youth about the time we'd saved enough to enjoy ...
JIM FIEBIG
If people werent so selfish, i would be happier.
JAIME TENORIO VALENZUELA
The uselessness of men above sixty years of age and the incalculable benefit it would be in commerc...
WILLIAM OSLER
Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is fo...
MARK TWAIN
I feel younger than eighteen but burdened as a eighty-year-old.
JESSIE BURTON
There will be time for speeches later. We ran the best we could. I could not be happier of the team ...
MORGAN CORR
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li...
DICK VAN DYKE
If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS
If age someday grounds my feet and wilts my port de bras, what vestige of the old life will be left?...
SASCHA RADETSKY
I mean, Eighteen years old is the age of consent in Europe and you can go anywhere and do anything y...
JOHN ENTWISTLE
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists ...
MARK TWAIN
Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be i...
RANDY K. MILHOLLAND
There's a little follow-through from yesterday. I would be happier if we had significant volume.
BARRY RITHOLTZ
To paraphrase Mark Twain, our demise is greatly exaggerated.
CHRIS DONLAY
He (Holbrook) said he has one of the first Mark Twain costumes he wore on stage and was saving it un...
LEE WARREN
Why should we save them? It's part of the historical legacy of California. They were made famous by ...
MARC HAYES
Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
MARK TWAIN
Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
MARK TWAIN
The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, ...
MARK TWAIN
Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to...
KATHERINE MANSFIELD
If we could manage any sort of trust again... Well. That would make me happier than you can imagine
RICHELLE MEAD
Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who w...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
The only thing in life that I can count on to be infinitely challenging are human beings.
KAYLA MORYOUSSEF
Eighteen months before I was born, my mother was in Auschwitz. She weighed 49 pounds. She always tol...
DIANE VON FURSTENBERG
Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER
If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain
TONY-PAUL DE VISSAGE
If there is any player who you couldn't be happier for signing a guaranteed multiyear contract, it's...
BILLY BEANE
I have raced against the clock since I went into advertising at the age of eighteen.
JAN KARON
If youth only knew: if age only could.
HENRI ESTIENNE
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies whic...
OSSIP GABRILOWITSCH
Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS
Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.
MARK TWAIN
You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of you imagin...
MARK TWAIN
Today, we celebrate life. A man who gave his life [to others] since the time I met him at the age of...
SARA WHITE
I could be a lot happier. I could be the senator from Aerospace taking bribes, and be quite happy.
GORE VIDAL
If our early lessons of acceptance were as successful as our early lessons of anger, how much happie...
PETER MCWILLIAMS
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
GERARD WAY
If everyone could learn that what is right for me does not make it right for anyone else, the world ...
WILLIAM GLASSER
Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo...
GERMANY KENT
I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was me...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
And these vicissitudes come best in youth; For when they happen at a riper age, People are apt...
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
Mark Twain has been credited as saying, “The two most important days in your life are the day you ...
JOSHUA BECKER
Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to...
KATHERINE MANSFIELD
If we continue to postpone funding, not only would we lose money, but we could be in violation of ou...
CHARLIE WILLIAMS
If I could drink only one wine, it would be Champagne.
GARY VAYNERCHUK
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN
Not sure if without this world God would be much happier but I'm sure man: WOULD!
SORIN CERIN
Life would be so wonderful if we only knew what to do with it.
GRETA GARBO
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save...
LYNETTE MATHER
Conventional wisdom tells us we'll only be happier after a divorce if the marriage itself was a ...
ARIEL GORE
It was the perfect Christmas gift to each other. We could not be happier.
GARTH BROOKS
The world would be happier if men had the same capacity to be silent that they have to speak.
BARUCH SPINOZA
An Ebola particle is only around eighty nanometres wide and a thousand nanometres long. If it were t...
RICHARD PRESTON
Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER
Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated,
BILL BRADLEY
Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to...
KATHERINE MANSFIELD
When you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain
STEVE J. LEATHERWOOD
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; les...
MARK TWAIN
All the airlines we speak to would be happier with a geographic name.
TANYA VANASSE

More Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
MARK TWAIN
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
MARK TWAIN
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ...
MARK TWAIN
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MARK TWAIN
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
MARK TWAIN
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
MARK TWAIN
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs...
MARK TWAIN
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
MARK TWAIN
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
MARK TWAIN
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
MARK TWAIN
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MARK TWAIN
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
MARK TWAIN
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
MARK TWAIN
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside...
MARK TWAIN
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN
All generalizations are false, including this one.
MARK TWAIN
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
MARK TWAIN
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MARK TWAIN
If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
MARK TWAIN
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
MARK TWAIN
The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
MARK TWAIN
By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
MARK TWAIN
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN
The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
MARK TWAIN
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
MARK TWAIN
The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
MARK TWAIN
Say the report is exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
MARK TWAIN
To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
MARK TWAIN
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
MARK TWAIN
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
MARK TWAIN
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
MARK TWAIN
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ...
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
MARK TWAIN
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
MARK TWAIN
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
MARK TWAIN
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
MARK TWAIN
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MARK TWAIN
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ...
MARK TWAIN
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal...
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN
Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN
Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN
Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN
There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN
There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN
It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN
There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN
War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
MARK TWAIN