Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speechmaker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without bein' under suspicion

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely

The chronic grumbler is a church social compared to the feller that agrees with everything you say

It's no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be