No one can control the aging process or the trajectory of illness.

In the case of my husband, we found that facing a life-threatening illness prodded us to make a dramatic change in our lives.

This was just an illness he couldn't control.

Very few women manage to have it all; certainly not all at once.

In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it.

I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship.