Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.

When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.' - Fish

Behold the flying elephant, one day it flies and one day it doesn't... today it doesn't.