My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.

When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance

Since I can't turn into a bat and fly, I'll still need my bus pass

Centuries of perfectly-pitched heartbreak resound through Les' microphone as Stella and I embrace in a slow dance.

You said you left Mississippi in 1854," Ron says. He turns to Mamuwalde and asks "Were you a runaway slave?"

"Not at all," Cindy Lou answers. "Daddy freed him."

Ron's jaw almost hits the floor. His wine glass does.